It seems like I keep coming against this wall.
A wall I can’t break through.
I used to feel so close to my LORD.
I have struggled such a long time now
with intimacy.
I can pray.
I can read the Bible.
I go to church.
But I miss the intimacy.
Feeling close.
Hearing His voice guide me.
Yet, I know He has not changed.
He hasn’t moved.
It is my choices that have distanced me.
The self-seeking.
The indulgences.
Wrong priorities.
The lack of trust.
“Yet this I call to mind
and therefore have hope;
Because of the LORD’s great love
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
(Lamentations 3:21-23)
He is faithful
when I am fickle.
His compassion
waits for me every morning
His love for me is greater
than all my sin.
His faithfulness
will carry me.
“The LORD is good to those whose
hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him.” (v.25)
I will seek Him.
He is my salvation.
He is my hope.
Help me dear Jesus
to turn from my sin
and seek You
with all my heart.
Help me as I start this new year
to have a renewed commitment
to follow You.
You are my strength.
You are my hope.
Take all that I am LORD
and use me for Your glory.

Susan Aken

Posted on Monday 31 of December, 2007 [13:51:55 UTC]

We always hear that people who experience cancer
or some other life threatening experience
come away changed.
They often feel they have a totally new perspective.
They are often renewed and have an appreciation for life
they did not have before.
What we don’t realize is
we are all terminal!
Every human being has a terminal disease.
These bodies will die sooner than we expect.
The years fly by like a fast flowing river.
We can’t stop time or hold back the years.
Each one of us is moving
quickly towards our day of death.
The difference for most of us is
we don’t know when it will be.
So on some level we convince ourselves
it won’t really come.
We feel invincible
unless we are faced with a
scary diagnosis, or barely escape a brush with death.
The person who experiences that close call
simply has his eyes opened to the truth for a moment.
The truth we all avoid facing every day.
Each one of us will die
sooner than we think.
Each one of us will face God.
Then comes eternity.
Each one of us has a brief time here
to prepare for eternity there.
Are we making the right choices?
Will we be with Jesus?
Will we be in darkness?
Will there be rewards waiting for us
or will we find regret?
God have mercy.
There are too many days
when I live for the moment,
for the day
forgetting
this is my temporary home.
One day soon
my day will come.
Will I be ready?
Susan Aken

Posted on Sunday 18 of November, 2007 [00:42:19 UTC]

I don’t know your name.
I never saw your face.
But you are a woman I have
great admiration for.
You are a hero to me.
You gave me one of the greatest gifts
a woman can give.
Your sacrifice gave me great joy.
I wanted a child very much
but I found myself facing
the thought that I might never be a mother.
Then I received a phone call.
A call that changed my life.
A call I consider a love letter from God.
A call saying there is a baby boy
who needs a home.
When they placed that baby in my arms,
I received one of the greatest gifts anyone could give.
I am honored that you would trust
my husband and I to raise this child.
We love him as much as if he came from our own flesh.
What a joy, what a privilege, what a gift to call him son!
Thank you for choosing to give him life!
Thank you for giving me the chance to be a mother.
Thank you for giving nine months of your life
to help him begin his journey on earth.
Thank you for loving him enough
to allow him to live, love and be loved.
May God bless you with His richest blessings.
May He return to you a thousand fold
the blessing you gave to us.

S. Aken

Posted on Saturday 20 of October, 2007 [11:44:28 UTC]

(from Butterflies, Biscuits and Rain - soom to be available on LuLu. One of my favorites)

So many think Christianity is about rules, church,
pleasing people (the pastor, youth minister, parents)
or a list of don'ts.

Do you know what it is?
Being saved means:

I am starving and Jesus says,
"I am the bread of life."

I am stumbling around in total darkness and Jesus says,
"I am the light."

I am lost in a forest and Jesus says,
"I am the way."

I am sick and Jesus says,
"I am the great healer."

I am deceived and trapped by lies and Jesus says,
"I am the truth."

I am a dead woman and Jesus says,
"I am the life."

That is what salvation means.

Not keeping rules, but a dead man finding life.

Not playing a part, but a starving woman finding food.

Not pleasing people, but a person lost in the darkness finding light.
S. Aken

“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever.” John 6:51 (Jesus Christ)

Posted on Sunday 07 of October, 2007 [03:44:57 UTC]

I have been searching all of my life
for that relationship
which would meet my deepest need,
touch my soul,
know me, care about me,
fill the emptiness,
take away the loneliness.

Once I thought
my parents
could be all this to me,
but it seemed
there was a part of me
they could never know.
And as I grew, they could not be
all I needed in my soul.

When I met the man
with whom I would be one,
I was sure I had found
what would fill
my every desire.
But as time went by,
although love was strong,
I began to see he could not be
all to me.

When I first held the tiny babe
who is my son, I thought,
this is what it is all about.
Here will be fulfillment,
joy, knowing all I am.
But as he has grown,
although the joy is great,
I see he often takes more
than he can give.

Sometimes I have thought
close friends could be
all I am searching for.
To be there for me,
support me, share joys
and sorrows,
bring completeness
where the spaces are.
Instead, I see no one
can give that much
or be that aware.

No relationship can
know me completely,
enter my soul,
fill all the emptiness,
make me whole.
As I pondered this,
I realized all my life
there is one
who has been there
who does do all these things.
He is always there.
He knows my every thought.
He not only knows my soul
but lives in me.
He makes me complete.
Only He can fill my empty parts.

I think each relationship
shows one small part of God.
Each gives a taste
that makes me long
for all He is.
Each relationship is
a shadow of all
I will have with Him
in Heaven.
In Heaven, He will be
the perfect parent
who will never disappoint or fail.
Who will know all I am
and love me into more.
He will be the perfect
husband /protector making me whole.
He will bring the joy, acceptance,
completeness I am looking for.

Until then, He is there
when I turn to Him for strength,
ready to fill my soul. He is there if I
will just call out to Him,
allow Him to show he cares.

Until then, each relationship
can teach me a little about God.
I can see the unconditional love
of my parents,
the devotion of my husband,
the joy my child gives,
the acceptance from friends and
be drawn to the heart of God.
Susan Aken
(from earlier writings)

Posted on Tuesday 25 of September, 2007 [19:31:27 UTC]

“O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek You;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for You,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.”
Psalm 63:1

What a dry and weary land our world is!
There is nothing in the world that will quench our thirst.
Nothing satisfies the longing of the soul.
There are only temporary distractions,
momentary pleasures,
things that keep us from facing reality.
Oh, but how our souls long for
true satisfaction,
a long, cold drink of pure water.
A filling of the emptiness in our hearts.
Only our God can give us that.
There is no water in the world.
Only Jesus can satisfy the thirst
of our dry souls.
He is our true satisfaction.
He is our living water.

S. Aken

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am
the bread of life. He who comes to Me
will never go hungry, and he who believes
in Me will never be thirsty.’ ” John 6:35

Posted on Tuesday 18 of September, 2007 [14:40:54 UTC]

Jesus can forgive any sin.
Any sin brought under the blood of Jesus in faith
is wiped away.
There is no act too horrible,
no thought beyond redemption,
no words he cannot forgive us for
as long as we trust Him and
come to Him believing.
Believing in His birth –
that He is the Son of God.
Believing in His life –
that He lived in perfection.
Believing in His death –
that He took our punishment
and died to pay for all our sin.
Believing in His resurrection –
that He defeated death,
doing for us, what we could never do for ourselves.
Believing in His second-coming –
He will return someday
to end sin forever.
Believing in Jesus Christ as God,
as LORD and Savior.
Believing not just with the mind
but with the heart.
Believing enough to give Him
all of ourselves.
Accepting that He died so we can live.
In return:
He gives us forgiveness and cleansing.
He makes us whole again.
He separates our sins from us
as far as the east is from the west.
He gives us new life.
He gives us eternal life.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
He can set you free.

Posted on Friday 14 of September, 2007 [22:11:08 UTC]

(written 9-16-01)

Our nation has made heroes
out of those who can sing,
dance, run, throw and act.
Yet, these are not true heroes.
These are just entertainers.
True heroes lead the way.
They give themselves to serve others.
They are the first to help someone in need.
They risk their lives to
save the lives of strangers.
They endure hardship, pain, fear and
physical trauma to help people in trouble.
The firemen, policemen and
others like them in New York City
are the true heroes in our nation.
They are the ones who fight
to save the lives of others.
They face danger
without a thought for themselves.
These are even willing
if necessary
to die to save the life
of a fellow human being.
May we honor the memory
of our true heroes
and seek to be more like them.

“Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends.”
John 15:13

by Susan Aken

In honor of the policemen, firemen
and others who gave their lives trying
to save lives in New York City.

Posted on Wednesday 12 of September, 2007 [13:55:15 UTC]

Oh, my Jesus,
why do I keep forgetting
that being a Christian,
being Your follower
is not about being “good”?
It is about loving You.
Loving You!
It is about keeping my relationship with You strong.
My motivation to avoid a certain sin is
not so, I can be a “good Christian”.
The strongest motivation I have to avoid sin
is that I don’t want anything to hinder our fellowship.
I don’t want to put anything before You.
I can’t love You and love sin at the same time.
In order to love You the way I want to and
to walk with You, I must avoid sin.
When I start loving sin, and knowingly do those
things that grieve You,
I choose to move away from walking with You.
I start avoiding You instead of avoiding sin!
Forgive me my Lord.
I want You.
I love You.
I want to avoid sin so that I can know You better.
Strengthen me.
Help me.
Keep me close to Your heart.
S. Aken

Posted on Monday 10 of September, 2007 [21:21:58 UTC]

One of the most comforting scriptures is when Jesus said "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." John 10:27-28

Held in His hands
secure forever.
No one can take me away from God.
Even me, even my own sin
can no longer cause me to fall.
Jesus has paid it all.
He has paid the price
to keep me right there
secure, held safe.
I rest in the palm of His hand.
He is my salvation,
my hope, my life,
my eternal future.
S.Aken

Posted on Friday 07 of September, 2007 [19:07:39 UTC]