We Hereby Proclaim…

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  1. That’s a nice start. But there are a million words in the English language, an unwieldy number by any estimation. I propose eliminating the 950,000 least frequently used ones in favor of their nearest synonyms. If no synonym is to be found, the idea you’re trying to express is likely rubbish anyhow, so no loss.

  2. Next, “silent letters” should be removed from the canonical spelling of each word. mnemonic -> nemonic, for example.

    As long as we’re doing this linguistic renovation, there are lots of counterintuitively-spelled words to be retconned.

    Homonyms can be fixed by appending a specifier to each use of the word, as in “ant-critter”, “aunt-relation”, “hare-critter”, “hair-scalp”, “hair-armpit” etc.

  3. I doubt that this is an April Fool’s joke. Pretty funny, nevertheless.

  4. Don’t Americans already write that way?

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  1. […] meant you’re. Good news: you’re problems are at an end.The self-pub service Lulu has decreed new spellings for many common homonyms. You can click on the image at left and see a few examples.I […]

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