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Emanuel may have hit the big boot with this book, but certainly not the legdrop. A one count may be in order, perhaps a quick two on some unwitting jobber, but most certainly not a three. The imagery is mediocre at best, and reminds me of some of my less notable feuds, such as the one I had with Akeem (The African Dream). While the electronic version of this book is very aggressively priced, it is still $1.48 too much to pay for the Lanny Poffo of poetry. While my recommendation would be to donate any and all proceeds to a charity so that you are not accused of being a thief Mr. Yarbrough, if you love, teach, or think as poorly as you write, you may as well keep the money since you may be the biggest charity case of all time. Two stars.
Terry Bollea
Thanks for the review.
Emanuel
I read quite a bit of this poetry. While I found it interesting, I wouldn't call it quite Romantic poetry, or very much along the lines of Wordsworth or Coleridge. Some of the versing feels somewhat forced, as though a not quite captivated immitation of a style; yet much of the poet's words would have been quite beautiful in a style of its own. The images are quite lovely, but some become a bit cliched after a great deal of use; perhaps a bit more variety is warranted. I also had a bit of a problem with the author's use of dates; specific dates were well and good, but subheadings such as "Probably the Fall of 2000" added little to the poem-- it was as though the poet was hoping this would someday become a Norton Anthology in and of itself.
On the other hand, the poet has captured a great deal of imagery in relatively short poems, which make for interesting reading at different times. Some poems make for beautiful imagistic poems. And the image of Christ as presented is undoubtably something of unique and beauty. Overall, the work was for the most part enjoyable, but still needs something-- perhaps something of the more original, less immitative-- before laurels and awe converge upon it.
My thanks goes to you for taking the time to read and critique my poetry. I'll take your words into consideration. My style is most imitative, but I used it purposely so. Perhaps that's why it will probably never go mainstream because it is so antiquated, but it's my conviction that the old ways are the best ways. Not The New Yorker material, but neither am I. Thanks again for your time and review.
Sincerely,
Emanuel
"it will probably never go mainstream because it is so antiquated"
Yes. That and it is bad.
-quoth the Raven
Thanks for the review.
Emanuel
Well, I must say that I never doubted that Emanuel would do what he set out to do. Emanuel said he would publish his work, and he did! My husband is a strongly passionate man, both towards his Creator and his love of poetry. Using his excellent knowledge of the English language, powerful word usage, and sweet romance, Emanuel has published a work of art -- Shadows of Dawn... True lovers will enjoy this love story, heart-sick Romeos will comprehend this tragedy, amateur writers will be inspired, and serious readers of poetry will be challenged.
Princess, how sweet are your words to my taste. Quoting Song of Solomon 5:16, "(Thy) mouth is most sweet; yea, (thou) art altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, oh daughters of Jerusalem." Or as Hassan said, "Thy dawn, oh master of the world, thy dawn. For thee the sunlight creeps across the lawn; for thee the ships are drawn down to the waves; for thee the markets throng with myriad slaves; for thee the hammer on the anvil rings; for thee the poet of beguilement sings."
Emanuel-Let me get this straight brother...your wife gives your book a six star review, and then you respond by giving yourself a six star review?? It's almost like you're booking your own title shot. Man up and let your work stand on its own.
Well I can't say I've read it in full. I looked at your preview.
Your first line of the first part:
"The vast, immense imagination of the mind of man"
Vast and immense? Ever heard of redundancy?
Sorry, I'm not convinced.
Thanks for the review and the time you took to write it. Emanuel
Mr Yarbrough:
I apologise for the tardiness of this reply. First, I would like to bring to your attention the nature of your replies to all negative criticism you have received on this book; it seems you feel it is necessary to defend subjectively your book every comment that it gets. This is not the behaviour of someone used to receiving feedback on his work, and I would hazard the guess that any experience you therefore have in the field of workshopping, drafting/redrafting and criticism is extremely limited. This should certainly not be the case in someone looking to publish their work; it is important to forge an objective opinion and to disattach oneself from one's work. Calling my remark about redundancy 'strong, negative criticism' is hyperbole to the extreme.
Now, on to your reply proper:
"but there are certain traits of good writing that are undeniable whether we agree with the topic or not."
I would love for you to pick out what you think warrants your book as an example of even the most mediocre of writing. For me it is a hasty tumult of archaism, telly language, weak lexis and sloppy rhyme. To expand:
The vast, immense imagination of the mind of man,
--This line is telly, with the adjectives 'vast, immense'. It also showcases horrendous redundancy, as already stated. There is absolutely nothing that can defend such carelessness in the descriptive phrase.
Referred to as the haunt of Wordsworth, most poetic find
Of poets searching for a region to explore, a land
--Most poetic find of poets? Further redundancy. Namedropping here is an absurd notion -- as if any artist has not called imagination his 'haunt'! It comes off as a pretentious attempt to insert a character into the poem's context. 'Find' is weak. The linebreak 'find/of poets' is ineffectual. The subsequent break on 'land' is just as pointless given the notion's previous introduction in the very same line.
Of treasure, a fountain-birth of wisdom, something old, sublime,
--Vague attempts at imagery. Group plurals like 'treasure' and nondescript taggings like 'something' will not help to form any kind of visual imagery.
And something not yet conquered by the soul. Tis sure the mind
--Oh god. You didn't just use 'Tis' did you? Regardless, it's 'tis. More importantly the contractions is a ridiculous abstraction that has no place in contemporary poetry, speech, prose, theatre unless without extremely good reason. Here it is a poor attempt to fit the metre and make the poem seem grand when really it is saying so little.
Is great, but not within itself. The mind of man is deep,
--'The mind of man is deep' -- you already said this. You already said it verbosely too, so this just takes the biscuit.
Uncharted, infinite, creating fresh and new the time
--Further expansion on that idea with more vague, unsubstantiated adjectives that couldn't be more telly if you tried. How can time be created fresh? That's a silly paradox.
I'll stop there. This is supposed to be finished work?! This has more holes than mice-nibbled swiss cheese!
"You see, an editor of a prestigious poetry review which has published THREE PULITZER PRIZE NOMINEES believes this poetry exhibits serious talent, and he's currently considering my poetry for publication in his review"
He's having it on or you're exaggerating or the 'THREE PULITZER PRIZE NOMINEES' were lucky finds and he has hit an incredibly bad patch. It is important to note at this point that I could not care less about your contacts, about your namedropping or about your opinions of your own work. The poetry should stand on its own. It does not. It shakes in the wind and bits fall off willy-nilly. Please, I suggest you take some serious time to learn this craft or choose a different hobby.
I write poetry. I see nothing wrong with 'Vast and Immense'. I do not think it is redundant, as it is used in that line. There are things such as repetition as a poetic device.
As a writer, the author of this book has certainly made a point: making you remember what you read. If you should read everything before making a redundant judgement. We are all aware that 'Vast and Immense' are active in the poem, it is a poetic device, a technique.
Kudos on the Poem, I loved it
Shalltell. U
Thanks for the review. Your defence is appreciated.
Emanuel
Way to go! I have a BA in English Literature. I had to read lots of old world poetry. I love all kinds of literature and I think it's great to see we still have one of the masters with us. Your strong faith is a gift along with the poetry. Thank you for exercising both in creating these wonderful masterpieces. I'd encourage everyone to read them. Thanks, again. You may like to take a look at my storefront in another week or so. I'm waiting for the proof on my novel, Lumen Seek the Light and I am working on publishing my own book of poetry. Keep up the good work! Gloria Slater
Mrs. Slater, I'm much obliged for your kind review. Coming from a woman who has a B.A. in English, it means much more to me because it adds more quality and gravity to your opinion seeing how you surely had to have studied the great masters of our English language to get your degree, and I thank you. It is certainly my desire to be able to write like the masters. Yours is truly a flattering comparison, but well I know that I have a long way to go before I can be seriously considered among their ranks. Maybe one day. Thanks again.
Emanuel Yarbrough
A BA in English is the big time. Thanks for playin!
-Quoth the raven
Mon 20 Sep 4:49 pm EDT 2004
Magical Poems by gopal lahiri
Wed 1 Sep 5:46 am EDT 2004
The poems in this collection reflect luminous, solid and traditional poems. What I admire most is the strength of the vision of the poet, always moving one step forward. I must applaud the poet. This book is a must for every poetry-lover.
Gopal
p.s: Kindly check out my book at
www.lulu.com/content/60514
and post a review.
[ Reply | 1 response ]
Re: Magical Poems by Emanuel Yarbrough
Wed 1 Sep 9:59 am EDT 2004
Thank you very much for the kind words. Yes, I am quite indebted to the traditional masters (such as Shakespeare, Poe, Wordsworth, etc.) for my inspiration, as are most true poets. I will gladly check out your site and read your preview poems.
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by johnhaines2004
Tue 24 Aug 4:09 pm EDT 2004
From the point of view of serious, philosophical poetry, you have absolutely cracked it. It is brilliant. I like discussions on Faith, and that carried me through the very heavy parts which were almost beyond me, but still greatly moving, thought provoking and laudible. Again. It is absolutely brilliant.
Now, The gentile OWA laughed when I suggested I wasn't a poet, but a writer of light, humorous verse. If we can get OWA to read your offerings, then I'm sure he will realise the reasons behind my own reluctance to be thought of as a poet.
Now, a touch of realism. I think my own leanings simply mirror the majority view. Despite its undoubted quality, it's still not for me to buy and read. You are part of a specialist field of no Mike Miller's, fluffy bunny's, or even dramatic suicide bids in an opening chapter ( there you go, Angela ), or bumbling 'Coppers' stumbling around the Drawing Rooms of the British Establishment. ( See CD Moulton, my joint fav' author on here!! ). I really hope there are bus-loads of serious poetry lovers on here, and around the world, who'll have Lulu's printers heading for vitamin pills to work the double shifts, so you can buy the mansion two doors away from JK. ( I'm next door, Pal!! )The very best of luck, I really do mean it.
John Haines ( Josh Rogan )
PS Urgent message to Lulu. All the thumbs have gone, this fellow's bagged the lot!!!
[ Reply | 1 response ]
Re: by Emanuel Yarbrough
Tue 24 Aug 4:44 pm EDT 2004
Mr. Haines, I'm deeply pleased at your recognition of the gift God has so graciously bestowed upon me. Be assured, though, that all of the poetry within this book is not just of the deeply philosophical. If you'll notice, there are a few love poems in my preview (see "A Measure of Love," "A Moment In Paradise," and "The Eyes In the Candleflame," for instance), and many more within the book. Many poems I've written are attempts at beautiful word usage more than at depth or philosophy. Once again, I truly value your opinion, and I'm grateful beyond words. Thanks again.
E. Yarbrough
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Lovely work by Stefan Hooper
Sun 22 Aug 11:21 am EDT 2004
The flow in these poems is brilliant, and the choice of words is very good. I like the messages expressed in the poems, and the way you express them. This is very good poetry.
Stef
[ Reply | 1 response ]
Re: Lovely work by Emanuel Yarbrough
Sun 22 Aug 1:23 pm EDT 2004
Thanks for the good review. I hope you'll encourage others to view my work as well.
E. Yarbrough
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Mercy. at least try to make some sort of sense with your poetry. For all the high sounding phrases, this one is no better than the rap which is rampant on the web
Thanks for the review.
Emanuel
So you judge that guy a fool because he doesn't like your work?
Is that a usual judgement? Are all people who dislike this book fools?
"Are all people who dislike this book fools?" - No!
- Quoth the raven
It must be 30 years or more since I was last called on to appreciate English poetry at school, but having read the preview I am delighted to be reacquainted! I have forgotten all I ever knew about iambic pentameters and the like. Is the poetry here free verse? It is very clear anyway that a great deal of thought and feeling have gone into this collection, and the author is to be highly commended for his efforts. It surely can't be easy to write in the style of a certain poet without having a very thorough knowledge of him/her, and here several poets serve as a kind of linguistic Pantheon for the author's dedication, deification and worship. Bravo!
Ian
Mr. Ruxton, thanks for your remarks. I'm a bit confused about your question. For those interested in a little poetry lesson, I'll briefly explain iambic pentameter and free verse. When I say free verse, that means poetry that has no specific rhyme pattern (in which the last word of each line or every other line rhymes)or meter (a regular pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables). Well, iambic pentameter simply means that you have the pattern of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable (denoted by a U and a /) repeated five times (pent-five). For instance, take the following lines from my poem "On a Night," in which I use iambic pentameter: "Most noble lover, names do change with time/Just like within the breeze the bells do chime . . ." When you read this, whether you realize it or not, you aren't putting much stress on the first syllable "most," but you put more stress on the next syllable "no;" "ble" would be unstressed, "lo" would be stressed, and "ble would be unstressed, and so forth. Does this make sense? You have to purposely write in this fashion, and it's kind of difficult at first; also, it takes a lot of time. This is one reason Shakespeare is so absolutely astounding because most of his plays and poems were written in iambic pentameter. Absolutely amazing! Once again, thanks for your kind remarks. E. Yarbrough
Thank you for the clarification. I think I remember that 'The curfew tolls the nell of parting day'is an iambic pentameter, isn't that from Gray's Elegy? Anyway, it's marvellous to find somebody with such mastery of the craft. Congratulations! Ian
Mr. Ruxon, yes, "The curfew tolls the knell of parting day . . ." is the first line to Thomas Gray's exquisite "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard," and yes, it is written in iambic pentameter. This poem is absolutely awesome in its quality, philosophy, and overall poetics. I'm glad that I was able to help you recall something as wonderful as this from your past. Thanks again for your kind review. E. Yarbrough
The style of poetry is clearly 'old world' with a a strong spiritual twist. The rhythym is continuous and almost unbroken at times, but with a clear message and theme. It takes a certain level of skill to aquire this effect and it seems the author knew his style when he likened his poetry to Coleridge and Frost.
Yes, much of my poetic style is quite traditional (though the themes and experiences are at once both timeless and almost universal, if such a thing is possible; the art itself---the style and such---can't possibly be timeless and universal because we're all chronocentric---products of our age and time). Don't get me wrong, though, for there are several experimental and modern free-verse poems within this collection; I just wrote each poem in the manner that I felt would better convey its spirit and idea, for you can't have the letter without the envelope. But once again, I'm certainly deeply indebted to the great masters of the English language, and I always shall be. Thanks. E. Yarbrough