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Hi Holly,
I've been chatting with a gal for a week. Everything seemed just fine.
After I sent her my photo, she wrote back telling me that I was "quite handsome." But then she disappeared. She resurfaced again and told me that she was busy with work — etc. etc. The next day, I went to look at her profile and she had uploaded FIVE photos. She was even online. When I instant messaged her I received no response. It seems like I've been stood up online — what should I do?
Mr. Chopped Liver — Tacoma, WADear Mr. Liver:
In the virtual world and online, there are flaky daters. Remember, dating is a number’s game. Regardless of how interested a person may seem, you MUST protect your best interest at heart, YOU.
It sounds like you could gain better control of your love life if you did not put all of your eggs into one basket. Until a person’s actions match their words, you might consider taking people at face value.
My recommendation: Stop licking your wounds. Start playing the game the right way – pursue several, simultaneously. Then, finalize your best dating contestants. It will help you achieve better love results and actually enjoy the process.
Good luck and please send me a progress report. Posted on Thursday 06 of April, 2006 [17:16:13 UTC] 13-Effective Habits of Cyberspace Mingling
It’s an open market that holds no bars. In the arena of online dating, women wear the pants. With an average of 20 or more online introductions a day, women maintain hand in who they exchange electronic messages with and who makes the to-date list. For the not-so technologically advanced female trying her hand at online dating, there are some basic guidelines to launching an exciting online dating campaign:
1. Innovate an appealing alias. – A good screen name can attract attention. Avoid a name that is too sexy as it can attract the wrong suitors. Moreover, it can attract men who are interested in one thing only, sex. Conversely, steer clear of creating a name that is too marriage driven; in example, The Committed One. Employ a description of yourself that is catchy and easy to remember. For example, PetiteBlondie, ParisLookAlike, BrownEyedBeat, are good screen names examples.
2. Use LUC in your profile. – There are telltale signs of appearing desperate. Posting more than one photo, long bios, statements like, I’m willing to relocate, looking for a long-term relation will generally attract the wrong contenders because the profile depicts desperation. Make light, unique and compelling statements in your profile. In other words, the profile should be like a movie trailer and inspire the viewer to learn more about you.
3. Upload the best photo. Post a solo photo of you smiling. To show the most of you, upload a photo that is a ¾ inch of you. Remember to avoid the temptation of digitally enhancing the photo. Use the most visually appealing photo of the way you appeat — today.
4. Let them pursue you. Online, there’s no reason to chase men. Allow your male contenders the opportunity to do what their biological make up calls for hunting you. Initiating contact with a man online is a controversial subject. Innumerous dudes prey on the over availability of a women in search of love. Remember, that once a man knows that you are interested, the mystery and intrigue are gone. During the initial stages of dating over-availability will never demonstrate the true integrity of your new beau, is he serious or are you too convenient?
5. Make them wait. Over availability and familiarity breed contempt. As tempted as you maybe to respond immediately to your suitors, wait 24 hours. Suppress your eagerness. Replace it with the wait and see approach to deflect any disappointment.
6. Use light e-notes. Respond to men who directly reference your profile and who display a photo. The two indicators demonstrate integrity. When you correspond, respond to the suitor about something in his email. Any man who does not have a photo in his bio, request a photo. If he fails to provide one, discontinue communication.
7. Move on after the first email. Don’t send a second email if a guy has failed to reply to your first email.
8. Block instant messages. Are you looking for an e-pal or a date? Don’t turn your dating campaign into a series of online instant dating sessions. Turn off your instant messenger to block those instrusive online interruptions.
9. Let him take the lead. Don’t offer your contact information. Let him initiate the phone number exchange. Don’t force the relationship transition from the electronic world to the telephone.
10. Secure your online dating experience. To protect your privacy and safety, don’t give out your home phone number. Offer a cell phone number until you have had 5-10 dates.
11. Manage your time, smartly. If he doesn't ask you out within four emails, deploy the delete or next button on your PC. You’re looking for someone to date not an email buddy to hone your typing skills. Plus, a man interested in pursuing a relationship, would want to move the dating offline if he had serious intentions.
12. Avoid time wasters. Don’t waste your time on men who have already given warning signals: poor follow through (not showing up or calling as promised), men who say they’re not interested in a relationship and men motivated by excessive sex talk are signs of a time waster.
13. Live life without any expectations. Although you don’t want to become cynical, you must remember that you cannot believe everything someone you meet online says. Take their words with a grain of salt until you see physical evidence of their words. Most importantly, enjoy the process of dating by using it as a way of getting to know the opposite sex. Posted on Wednesday 15 of March, 2006 [22:32:09 UTC] Dear Holly,
For the last six months, I've been dating a guy that I met online at
Nerve.com. We agree on just about every level. The
only problem is that he will not go to church with me.
What can I do to persuade him to attend church with me on Sunday?
Church Lady - Bradenton, FL Dear Church Lady,
Spiritual nourishment is a subjective issue. Just like certain
people crave greasy fries doused in ketchup, others prefer their
potatoes mashed. The same analogy is applicable in how people
elect to worship their God.
Do not expect to change your beau's church attendance. Would you
like it if your boyfriend required you to go to Gentlemen's Clubs?
At the same token, if you are in quest of a man who sits by your
side at church, you may consider dating someone else.
Changing someone to suit your needs may be a relationship headed
for disappointment.Happy Dating for I DoPosted on Tuesday 07 of February, 2006 [15:52:08 UTC] Hi Holly,
I've been dating a gal for 5 months now. On Valentine's
Day I would like to do something other than take her out for
an expensive dinner. Because, I'm unemployed, my
finances are limited. Can you recommend any fun ideas?Stumped by VD Hey SVD,
It's a an excellent idea to think beyond the cliché
Valentine's Day dinner, roses and a box of chocolate.
Besides, romance can be tainted after a satisfyingly
sumptuous meal.
Here are a few Valentine's Day alternatives:
Valentine’s Day Option I
Pitch a blanket, and picnic basket on your living room
floor or another unlikely location. Pack the basket with
a decent bottle of wine, as an alternate use choose
your favorite sipping beverage. Add your favorite
snacks foods. Be sure to be consistent.
In other words, if you opt for fast food snacks, try to
choose ones out of the norm (marshmellow spread, a box of
Cracker Jacks, Good and Plenty's and others). To demonstrate
a little thoughtfulness, add a sweet nothings
note to each snack.
Valentine’s Day Option II
Choose an activity that both of you can partake
in: karaoke, billiards, bowling or bicycling. Then,
wrap up the evening with a romantic meal prepared
by you. (Even if you cook hot dogs, try to make the
experience romantic).
On the contrary, if both of you are competitive towards
each other, you may try heightening the Valentine's Day
stakes. A few simple board games (Chess, Monopoly,
Backgammon, Scrabble, etc) can be backed by posting
sexual wagers. The winner gets to have intimacy
according to their specifications.
As for flowers, follow your judgment. Think beyond
the single rose or bouquet search for exotic flowers
like these flower alternatives that make stunning
romantic impressions:
- Anthurium
- Cannas
- Heliconia
- Musa Coccinia
- Orchids
- Protea
- Stargazer lilies
-- Carnal Valentine's Day wishesFor more ideas on relating, mating and dating, click herePosted on Wednesday 01 of February, 2006 [16:14:14 UTC] Dear Holly,
I have recently seperated from my husband and wonder if it hurts to online converse with someone or should I wait until I am divorced. I live in another state from my husband. I am not looking to fool around or anything just have a email friend or two. Since, I'm not divorced, is this wrong of me?
G62Dear G26,
I believe that communicating with the opposite sex is
a fast study for either gender. As a result, chatting
with other guys during your seperation may serve as two
fresh perspectives:
1)You may determine that there are too many freaks,
doggies and head cases running amuck in the universe;
therefore, your marriage will seem worth salvaging.
2) Communicating with other men may make you realize
that you have been living in an altered state of mind
how did you share your life with such a selfish ba-----
for so long?
Besides during this trying period in your life
communicating with other people may stave-off
depressed feelings.
(No hanky pank allowed)
Blissful online chatting!!! Send your dating or relating question to datingforIdo@sbcglobal.net Posted on Monday 23 of January, 2006 [12:50:54 UTC]
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