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Paul Morris was born in 1979 in a Yorkshire, England town named Beverley. After being born, an attempt by a group of roving Scientologists to snatch him from his bassinet was thwarted by the efforts of the ghost of Linus Van Pelt, who taught him how to draw comics so that the bigger kids couldn't pick on him at school (they did anyway). Below are the fruits of his labor (Morris', not Van Pelt's).
Morris writes and draws obsessively. In high school, he wrote a Spanish adaptation of The Wizard of Oz (the part of Dorothy was played by his twin brother Julian). In 1999, he was the winner of the Germanic Languages Poetry Contest. He began drawing “Nigel and Beatrice," about two British exchange students, for the Brown Daily Herald. He has appeared on television twice: on a game show called Inquizition (second place) and on a news program broadcasted in the Canary Islands (bitten by a rabid dog).
In 1997, Morris was knocked unconscious for five minutes after being whacked across the neck with a pool noodle. He is a Gemini and can twitch his eyebrows in countless directions.
His webcomic, which is a monthly upload of 50 new comics, is called Arnjuice and can be found (and read) at www.arnjuice.com. You can also check out his art gallery at http://polylerus.imagekind.com/.
He fiddles around with Playmobil figures, and is responsible for some stop-motion films and the "music video" Plastic Hips Don't Lie.
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Print: $12.33 Father Henry loves his jackapoos (Jack Russell Terrier + poodle) and other poodle hybrids. Do you?
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Print: $31.90 Dreams that I've had and experienced -and now appearing in graphic form. A dream-journal that is as much a symphony to wish-fulfillment and suppressed desires as a tale of epic adventure, grotesque dangers, and romance. An oneiric Iliad featuring a bespectacled hero in a polo shirt and slacks.
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Print: $6.78 Rufus goes out with Eddie Waggoner -as friends, of course. Rufus has a girlfriend. Um...Rufus isn't gay.
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Print: $4.85 I was inspired by Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares to create a chef of my own: Rawdon Islay. And then I set him loose on the Bainbridges.
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Print: $5.55 As Letty Cottin Pogrebin has written, "if the family were a container, it would be a nest, an enduring nest, loosely woven, expansive, and open. If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable—each segment distinct. If the family were a boat, it would be a canoe that makes no progress unless everyone paddles. If the family were a sport, it would be baseball: a long, slow, nonviolent game that is never over until the last out. If the family were a building, it would be an old but solid structure that contains human history, and appeals to those who see the carved moldings under all the plaster, the wide plank floors under the linoleum, the possibilities."
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Print: $9.48 Opal Pumice Bainbridge is looking for love, and sometimes she isn't looking for it. It sort of creeps up on her like a cocktail waitress at a comedy club. And tells her that there's a two-drink minimum.
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Print: $6.93 Download: FREE Belznickle, also known as Belsnickle, Belschnickel, Pelznickle, Belznickel, and Pelz-Nichol, is not a figure of my own invention. Of Germanic origin, he was considered by the Pennsylvania Dutch to be either an evil sidekick of Saint Nicholas or Father Christmas. Belznickle was a Yuletide figure in many communities in the Mid-Atlantic States –including Maryland, the homeland of Arnjuice’s Bainbridge Family.
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Print: $5.55 Rufus has to go to the dentist, Charles shows the office how to replace water bottles for the cooler, and Mary sings the breakfast song.
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Print: $5.58 Charles faces off with a wild turkey (Meleagris gallopavo). Happy Thanksgiving!
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Print: $5.61 Charles dies! And Mary goes after him, down to the dark world of Hades, Persephone, and Charon. And other stuff happens too.
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Print: $4.99 With Marc Bauer as co-author.
A critical look at people in restaurants.
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Disc: $7.50 The Fountain of Youth is a stop-motion film that utilizes Playmobil toys as its animated characters. The film concerns the legendary Fountain of Youth, which becomes the object of obsession for the insane King Lucan, ruler of Norwall, after he loses his young wife and son. Lucan plans to conquer Oesia, the land containing the rejuvenating fountain, with a force composed of six knights. See what happens when the six knights land in dangerous Oesia. Written, animated, and directed by Paul Morris. With original music by Andrew Lewis. NOTE: FOR COMPUTER USE ONLY. DOES NOT WORK ON DVD PLAYERS.
The whole thing can also be seen at: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/379376/the_fountain_of_youth/
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Print: $5.53 Rufus' friend Eddie drags him to a danceclub called Extraordinary Rendition. Eddie brings his crew along.
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Print: $10.83 Celebrities encounter Yanni in different ways.
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Print: $4.83 Download: FREE But can you really know women?
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Print: $5.59 From the webcomic Arnjuice (www.arnjuice.com): Rufus' cellphone breaks and Mary gets stuck in a bookstore elevator. All so very Tolkein-ish. Includes the very short shory "The Man Who Found J.D. Salinger."
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Print: $5.31 Download: FREE The date was March 8, 2006. The famous composer of New Age music, John Yanni Christopher, better known as Yanni, had been arrested and was facing a domestic battery charge after a dispute with his girlfriend. Around the same time, the actor and singer David Hasselhoff was battling a domestic violence claim brought forward by his ex-wife.
The charges of violence against these two icons seemed wildly out of sync with the personas they had created for themselves as entertainers. Without assuming their guilt or innocence, would we ever look the same way again at the creator of such albums as Optimystique and I Love You Perfect (that would be Yanni) and the star of Knight Rider, Baywatch, and such films as The Cartier Affair and Zärtliche Chaoten II (The Hoff)?
What was happening to our heroes?
Such thoughts led to the creation of the first so-called “Yanni Encounter,” which occurred between Yanni and The Hoff. But Yanni would face even greater challengers than The Hoff as time went on.
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Print: $29.88 Download: FREE A collection of superhero comics created and drawn by Paul Morris (1979- ) between 1991 and 1993.
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Print: $6.57 Includes the scripts “I Killed Twiddledee,” “Loose Gravel,” “Everface,” “Millions of Spiritual Creatures Answer the Phone,” "I'm Sorry I'm Circles," and “Café Bistro.”
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Print: $5.81 Rufus babysits the Burgess kids, Wade and Sherwin, while Pope Joan attempts to motivate Cherise. Charles tries to form a bond with his new son Seabring, while Mary pays the gas bill. Includes the short stories "Claudette Goes" and "The Coati".
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Print: $9.03 The Transformers Optimus Prime doesn't want you to see!
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Print: $8.10 I'm lampooning politicians now, because they've never been lampooned before.
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Print: $5.29 Watch your co-workers closely. They may want to kill you.
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Print: $5.59 Charles buys a soccer team in order to find common ground (or pitch) with his son Rufus. And Rufus is pursued by a girl/force of nature named Barrie Pudlicott. The Bainbridge Family visits the Pennsylvania Dutch market and Mary buys a bonnet. And the seasons change and pass as they always do: the swirl of hail and the hard touch of the summer sun.
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Print: $4.73 Archimedes' iPod. The treadmill of Vitellius. A Phoenician Q-tip. These now-rediscovered treasures of antiquity are presented in catalogue form for your enjoyment and scholarly perusal.
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Print: $4.91 Download: FREE A nicotine adventure starring piano teacher William Cantelupe of Arnjuice (www.arnjuice.com) fame.
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Print: $4.83 This modest gallery of accomplished thespians is intended to drive back the obscurity that enshrouds the names and faces of the professionals behind every Orc, zombie, and Imperial Storm Trooper that you see in the movies.
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Print: $5.57 The continuing adventures of Charles and Mary Bainbridge et. al. It's love as played out in Annapolis, Maryland. See it all on the web comic Arnjuice (www.arnjuice.com).
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Print: $6.53 The first 100 comics from the web comic ARNJUICE (www.arnjuice.com)
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Print: $5.19 Finally, a field-guide for anyone working in Customer Support! You need to identify various dangerous customer types before you even answer the phone. This guide, complete with thirty-two cartoons, will help you to do just that. Put your coffee and Silly Putty down; we require your full attention. We make no strong guarantees, but we know that by the time you finish this illustrated manual, you will at least be able to recognize the covetous gleam in the eyes of the Trial Period Maniac, the nebbishy chortle of Self-Deprecation Man, the groovy chords of the Flower Child-Weirdo, and the distant cry of The Non-Contiguous Exile.
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Print: $5.09 Includes the theatrical skits:
Ask for Doris, The Birthday Card, and The Rhinoceros That Trampled Eugène Ionesco.
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Print: $5.89 This script collection includes "Death Over Yorktown" (a Revolutionary War-era piece set in 1781); "Shoot First, Shoot Later" (a Western set in 1880); "The Longest River in Europe" (a World War I drama set in 1918); and "Thank you, Eris," set sometime in the future.
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Print: $8.13 "Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast,
To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." So the playwright William Congreve (1670-1729) has written. But American Idol hadn't been invented yet.
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Print: $7.53 There's a better way to fly: just buy about a thousand balloons and attach them to a deckchair. Apparently this works. Aerofloaters is a gentle look at the creatures one finds on planes (no, I don't mean Snakes on a Plane).
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Print: $9.63 A murder most foul.
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Print: $9.56 Philip Coyne had once wanted to become a professional bassoonist, but now he's the Director of Customer Support at a software company and his girlfriend has dumped him at his own birthday party. Office politics, company softball games, clashes with the Marketing Heads and Floor Managers all contribute to his discontent. The Support Floor is a work of humor for a Digital Age swarming with software bugs and viruses, Inbox-flooding e-mail, Instant Messages, and telephone support centers.
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Print: $7.21 Cecilia Severing doesn’t know much about bees, nor about romance, for that matter. But when she meets Juan Luis, a beekeeper, on a bicycle tour through Spain, it changes her life forever. In this modern world, is it still possible to fall in love?
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