Oh. My. God.

Ever have one of those moments where your heart leaps into your throat and you want to cry? Where memories overwhelm you and you remember the passion you once had for something?

I am having those moments today.

I had to repair my hope chest, since when moving, it broke. So I had to take everything out of it and I'm bent in all funny angles, getting wood-glue everwhere as I work on gluing the thing back together. (It just popped a few thingies here and there..whatever you call them. I'm so technical!)

Afterwards, while I am waiting for it to dry, and my kittens are sleeping, I started going through the things there. I found a package from my first real boyfriend, Jake, that had a lot of sweet memories in them. He was a lovely guy. I miss him.

But what really made me choke was finding my "first novel." A story about an elf-slave named Korayn who was descended from the Gods and was about to save the world. And I loved the story; in fact, Korayn was one of my online names for the longest time.

...page...
I choked. It was so horrible. I choked again and again while reading this manuscript, thinking "OMG WHAT SHIT." But nevertheless, I remember reading it to my friends Julie and her sister Renee, and having them say "More more more!" I remember buying books at the drugstore and pencils, and writing longhand for hours and hours and hours. I remember transcribing it to word perfect on my first computer, a pentium 150 running windows 95. I couldn't type then, so three books of longhand took me a while.

I remember printing it, stopping with every page so I could flip it over and save paper.

I remember saving it on disk, so I would never lose it. I remember thinking 'It's on disk, so no need to save it on the PC."

I remember crying when that disk messed up, and I couldn't get to anything on it. I remember clutching that manuscript like it was life, since it was all I had. The books of longhand were long gone by now.

Reading it today brought back a lot of memories. A lot of them sad, some happy, some throat-chokingly tender. It also brought home how influenced I was by the things around me, as I found references to Morrowind (which was not a game at that time, but was a place in a game, Daggerfall), one of the main characters was named after a character in a Phantasy Star game (Rune). Another was named after my friend, Greg (Character name Gregarin). And there were heavy influences from the world of Krynn, in the races, the gods, so forth. I even found references coming from Stephen R Lawhead books, in names I chose (Llew).

That makes me want to go over the Spy's Gibbet and find the references I drag from my life and the work of others. I know of two off the top of my head — the Heights and the Paths. Though I am certain games do not own these concepts, a highly rich area and completely shitty area — the names are definately too close to something I should not have drawn on. So that is for the editing stage, to redo those.

The names — so many are drawn from friends. A prince, Natahn, is Nathan — an ex. Enger is a name of a dear friend of mine. David is the artist who does my work (though I have to admit that I named the character David 'David' before I met David. ;)) Kuma is the name of a Character from another game, Kumaro — a dear friend. Of all the names in the book, Kuma is the one that gives me the most pain and joy. Killing him will make me cry — Kumaro was so important to me, and Kuma has become so partially because of how important Kumaro's player is to me.

So it all comes in phases, I suppose, but one thing is certain.

Coraviele needs a lot of editing before I even go there again.

Posted on Tuesday 05 of July, 2005 [12:55:17 UTC]

I am in a major slump. It has been months since I have worked on the Spy's Gibbet. I am stuck in so many ways, not only because I am stuck on a few points where I am at in the story, and not only because I am working and sleeping and cleaning and caring for two rambunctious kittens, I am struggling because I've lost the plot.

I hate when that happens.

In order to get my creative juices flowing again, I've decided to step off the path I'm on for a bit and visit Kuma's past. Ever since David, the artist who does the artwork for me, fell in love with Kuma in the bit of the Spy's Gibbet that I sent him, I have been passionate about him too. Where did he come from? How did he end up being street kid. And how did he fall into Kokonof's gang?

Well, this is going to tell part of that. I'm not going to mention Kokonof, I think, because I hate his name and I don't want to have to go back and change it once I find something I like.

Some random musings. The little bit of the Kitten's Gift which is done is up — I will be adding pictures to it and finishing the story later, since I have company coming soon.

-SL

Posted on Tuesday 05 of July, 2005 [12:45:34 UTC]

I have the nastiest cold/flu and it is driving me absolutely insane. My nose is red and peeling, and feels like Mount FireyNose. And every once in a while, it erupts too. Hopefully, I have a kleenex ready else my hand, sleeve, or whatever is nearby is going to be covered in gooey nose-generated 'lava.'

Ugh.

So anyhow, I haven't done anything big on The Spy's Gibbet lately, though the urge is niggling inside. I'm completely doped up on Tylenol Cold and Flu Nighttime, so I'd probably write a glowing spaceship into the story or something. I'm wonkers.

However, I have been doing a few short stories. "A Kitten's Gift," "Ice Charades," and "The Sheaf" are a few of them. Most of them I write on paper at work in between calls (I work in a call center) and I am giving a few hand written copies to David, the artist who does my work, because he loves it so much. I feel it is such a cool gift for someone who has given my characters such life through his sketches and drawings.

-sniffle-

No, not sentimental, I'm having a slow-moving 'lava' flow down my face, I think. If you live in New York city and call Time Warner Cable, and end up with a rep in Canada who sounds like a toad who should have 'croaked' ten years ago, chances are you've reached me.

Anyhow, that's updates for now. I move April 1st, and once that's settled, I can set up a nice comfortable writing area once again!

Posted on Tuesday 22 of March, 2005 [05:43:33 UTC]

Christmas is over.
I've moved home.
I have my new job.
David just finished my cover.
It is gooooodly. I want to kidnap him, lock him up and make him my personal artist for LIFE.

Ahem.

That said, I am looking around my tiny bedroom and thinking it needs some massive work to become something I can live and work in. so I am going to clean my room a bit, bring dishes downstairs, things like that. Get it nice and clean so I can work again. I just can't work in this sort of environment.

My second goal is painting my walls. They're gouged and marked up, and it'd distracting.

I have David's art stuck on my cork board on my door, and frankly...once my room is clean, I'll be happy. And able to work. I have ideas spinning in my head right now, ideas I need to write down.

I ordered a copy of my own book when I first first put it up on Lulu and got it December 24. The print was ok - there were a few splotches and marks here and there, but the cover seems rather firmly attached, which was nice. And it is amazing to hold your book and read the cover and see your name on it. It gave me shivers down to my spine. It was awesome.

That said, my room isn't cleaning itself, so I am going to go do that now.

But man. David is awesome. His works inspire me to keep going. THANK you, David.

Posted on Sunday 16 of January, 2005 [18:25:10 UTC]

Regarding my last post, upon posting on the forums, the staff have removed the posts of others. I am rather fortunate they respond so quickly. I hope they are looking into the issue (as I almost accidentally post in a blog belonging to Richard Kennedy).

Posted on Monday 03 of January, 2005 [19:30:00 UTC]

Others post in my blog. I almost posted in someone else's. I hate that. I don't need these silly practically nude pictures in my blog, but I can't get rid of them either. Argh!

-S

Posted on Tuesday 28 of December, 2004 [16:47:09 UTC]

I truly feel like gouging my eyes out. I'm tired, my eyes are dry and itchy, and I have a headache. My back has a "butterfly" of pain (essentially, my spine hurts between the shoulder blades where I feel wings would sprout from, if I could have them), and my tailbone is feeling compacted.

Why?

Because I've been sitting at the computer -FAR- too long. I suppose this deserves some elaboration.

For the last few days, I've been prepping my laptop for sale. Since I graduate after this semester, there's no real need for it with my desktop, since I never really enjoyed typing on my laptop anyhow. It was running Linux, used for school, and frankly - the person buying it nearly ran away when I said that.

So I put Windows XP back on it and basically made the laptop "Schweeeet!"; I put Windows XP, Office Suite 2003, a bunch of freebie virus and spyware stuff - the whole shebang. I made sure it was updated and that I had the laptop set to automatically do that because the buyer didn't seem so PC savvy (which was a true assessment on my part).

So I got the thing over to her and set it up (which reminds me, note to self: cash cheque). So anyway, it's all good. But setting it up at her place just drained me. I don't know - I think it was in part with the wind causing my asthma to act up.

So I get home and fall asleep...with a big report due the next day. I wake at 5am and begin working on it...and finish at 11. I worked straight. So I promptly passed out again.

(That's the report up in my store - I just felt like seeing how many pages total it was). So I woke up, and I have exams next week, and then..school is over. This was my last class...ever.

Wow. It's overwhelming! I want to write, but my brain is -dead- ....

Maybe I will write some short stories.

Posted on Friday 10 of December, 2004 [01:46:08 UTC]

I decided to put up what I have done of 'The Thief's Gibbet' so far. You can buy it if you want (why you would want to is beyond me).

I bought a copy for mom for Christmas. I think it's sweet. I told her I'd write all over her copy as I edited my work. She just grimaced. She's not all excited about it.

But this is what I've always wanted to do, so...I am thrilled!

I edited the layout a bit on suggestions from the site on publishing. I'm hoping that the book won't have the text stuck in the binding. :/

Oh well. It's a crap copy. If it's really bad, I'll buy mom another, another time.

Posted on Monday 06 of December, 2004 [23:46:44 UTC]

Salutations!

I found Lulu through NaNoWriMo, which I in turn found through a dear friend of mine, Gaby. Alas, I did not finish the NaNo Challenge this year, but I came close. "Real life" has to take precedence, I'm afraid, and with assignments and tests and exams coming and mowing me down in November and early December, I just couldn't devote the time I needed to.

I hear Gaby finished though, so I will be pointing her here. Lulu is great - they have a free promo that will allow any NaNoWriMo Winners to get their work published (which they do for all of us), but would send a free 'draft' copy.

Now, that's just -great.- I really wish I had finished now!

Regardless, I didn't, but I'm still determined to finish the stories I have in my head. Now that I am but 10 - no, 9 - days away from my last exam, EVER, in College, I should have more time to write. Sure, I'll be working, and SURE, I'll be trying to find a place to live, BUT I won't have homework, and trust me - I am looking forward to that.

Now, if only I'd had the guts to ask that cute guy at the Nano Toronto wrap party for his number. Oh well.

Posted on Monday 06 of December, 2004 [12:18:02 UTC]