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Until one of my sons asked me to write a book, did I start to think about the importance of doing it for my family as well as for myself. Many behaviors of mental illness emerged shortly after our marriage. As time passed, the behaviors increasingly became more frightening. I learned about the closed door aspect of life, all the secrets, abuse, anger turned to silence, failures, shame, and the slamming of doors. I also learned about my commitments and successes on my own, and my love for children. To accomplish the task of writing about my life or to even make it possible for me to do so, I had to put my feelings in the back of my mind and stick to facts as though they belonged to someone else. I have found writing has helped me become a stronger, healthier, and happier person. I have learned a lot about myself and now I also know I am free, okay, and I am safe. Today I know who I am, I am no longer lost.