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"Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven"
This thought-provoking book is worth far more than its weight in gold. Deceptively simple in its straightforward, witty approach and illustrated with clever cartoons by Jacky Fleming, it is a vital tool for anyone who feels trapped in an abusive relationship but it is much more than a self-help guide for abused women.

Despite the casting of the male gender in the role of the dominator (which Pat justifies with the appropriate use of statistics), it crosses all gender boundaries and ultimately is all about encouraging people to be kinder to each other, regardless of race, colour, creed, gender or sexual orientation.

Living... More > with the Dominator should be an essential, eye-opening read for anyone involved at every level in working with either victims or perpetrators of domestic abuse. With incisive wit and intelligent use of humour, the different aspects of the dominator are laid bare, providing tremendous insight into the power balance within relationships, particularly in the identification of specific behaviour patterns which can leave victims reeling in their struggle to make sense of their situation. This book is also painfully explicit about the effects of abusive relationships upon those children caught in the middle.

It would be impossible for anyone to read this book without considering their own attitudes and beliefs as well as identifying the ways in which we all will have been manipulated by others in different ways throughout our lives.

In addition to helping me to understand the ways that I have been controlled and manipulated in my relationships, it has helped me enormously to put my own beliefs and attitudes in a better perspective and to begin to make the changes which I hope will lead me to be a better person – but one who will never again be willing to accept life with a dominator!

Linda Harris
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