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Jun. 23, 2011 By Mark Einkauf
This book addresses the confusion regarding Christian Courtship. In a Socratic style dialog, problems are accurately diagnosed and solutions boldly proposed. Many footnotes to modern courtship literature and various scripture passages are supplied. Some readers will judge the offered solution - betrothal - as archaic and unworkable in modern society. But those who have seriously pondered the marriage crisis should welcome a fresh approach.

The basis of the book's betrothal solution is that any man and woman who are not celibate and are willing to "do good" to a mate are eligible to be married to one another. Further, since this sexual interest is present, they should not seek a... More > potential spouse themselves since that will inevitably lead to some sort of sexually charged relationship. Even a merely verbal relationship will lead to sexual thoughts that defraud the couple if they do not eventually become man and wife. Therefore, the fathers should be the ones to initiate any possible discussions of marriage. The man and woman can certainly have a friendly relationship, but considering each other as potential mates leads to trouble.

Some will decry the involvement of parents in the choice of a spouse as "arranged marriage". But careful readers will understand that the author is not proposing a medieval plot where a young girl is chained in a dungeon awaiting puberty and marriage to a toothless old man. Rather, sensible families will welcome a reintroduction of a multi-generational vision in which parents guide their children through life's major milestones. Today's culture demands that a young couple stand on their own, living alone, working along, raising children alone - distant from wiser, experienced parents. The book directly challenges this assumption and offers the advantage of wise fathers leading, not dragging or forcing, the next generation throughout the steps of marriage and establishing a vocation and household.

The book proposes no list of qualifications a father may have in judging a suitor - insisting only on confirming the suitor's non-celibate status and desire to 'do good' to the potential mate. Since 'good' is not explained in detail, the book leaves the impression that the qualifications are minimal and that any sexually interested young man or woman of basic competence is ready for marriage. However, as the father is involved in the process, he can determine if a possible spouse can 'do good'.The father can rightly inquire regarding any requirements he feels necessary to a healthy marriage.

This book moves the courtship/marriage discussion in a more biblical direction. It should encourage families to share a common vision between generations - a vision that motivates early marriages and sustains those new marriages within a biblical church community and extended family context. < Less
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May. 24, 2011 By sabi ernest
should christian go into courhip before marriage
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Mar. 15, 2011 By bryan whetstone
I just finished reading this book. I was great! written in a play format it digs into some tough topics that are extremely relevant to the church today. there are so many opinions about how a christian should "find a wife" that are influenced more by the paganism of our day rather then the word of God. A must read for anyone who is looking for biblical guidance in regards to relationships with the opposite sex, dating, and marriage. Especially for soon to be parents (like myself) who want to know what the bible has to say on these issues. I found the format caused me to be able to really get into the story, making it an easy read with lasting lessons to be learned.
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Nov. 16, 2011 By Ronald W Kirk
I am manuscript review and theology editor for Nordskog Publishing. Vaughn kindly undertook to review some of our books. I here reciprocate.

Mr. Ohlman’s What Are You Doing? is a morality play treating of the interlinked problems of young adult sexuality, marriage, and getting there from here. It treats of dating and a current, Evangelical form of courtship that claims often to leave young people without mates.

First, this is one of the most important topics of our time. Christians have foolishly followed the pagan world’s pattern of declining morals and population reduction. Out of the notion that the Law of God is somehow inferior to contemporary moralism, we have largely replaced... More > the Bible with humanism, when we need true moral direction.

What Are You Doing? in a sometimes humorous, but always pointed fashion, reverses this pattern with a relentless appeal to Scriptures. This is a must-read for all parents and young adults to guide Biblical thinking toward marriage and our generational responsibility before Christ. To comment more on the substance of Mr. Ohlman’s conclusions would constitute an untoward spoiler. One should consider the arguments before entertaining the conclusions.

Having said this, as with many issues confronting us these days, drawing dogmatic conclusions without a track record of good fruit is dangerous. In our fledgling efforts to make God’s Law our standard, we still seem to do so largely on a speculative basis. Theology is by nature a science. All knowledge is circular, as Van Til declares, and sound knowledge must be proved knowledge. The Word is the Seed. It must bear fruit. It took several hundred years to establish for good the doctrines of Christ, which we now take for almost for granted. Let us not be in a hurry to establish Biblically derived dogma over human issues when we haven’t yet acquired the skill from good practice. I recommend careful study of this issue. Here is an exellent starting place.

The author’s conclusions in What Are You Doing? apply to a very specific situation, one where the parties involved, in a kind of reverse engineering, come to accept and live out the Biblical conclusions that they work out within the story. The context of the Biblical argument here is a mature Christian covenantal community, and wise parents. Christians need to learn to apply Biblical wisdom when the ideal is not available, though certainly we ought to aim for the ideal.

As a dad of five mature children, and many growing grandchildren, I confess that however much we pursued Biblical righteousness, God required faith. No checklist can compensate for wisdom. To wisdom, add faith. Only God brings the increase in human affairs. I thank God, for our family’s successful experiences. < Less
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May. 9, 2011 By ebifemi dare emmanuel
am a student..

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Product Details

ISBN 978-1-257-88131-4
Copyright Vaughn Ohlman (Standard Copyright License)
Edition First
Publisher Moravia Barnyard
Published November 17, 2011
Language English
Pages 110
 
Binding Perfect-bound Paperback
Interior Ink Black & white
Dimensions (inches) 6.0 wide × 9.0 tall

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