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3 People Reviewed This Product
  • By Ethan Mawyer
    Nov 4, 2008
    Very interesting preview. I want to read the rest of the book but i certainly can't afford to pay fifteen dollars to download it.
  • By Jon Vincent
    Sep 17, 2007
    "Just My Observations...." I noticed a few things that need some work. First, there is an issue with you giving too much away too quickly. If this girl working in the bordello is supposed to be intriguing than you need to make her as such. You gave away her entire background in one paragraph. You need to lead up to it, reveal a little at a time, don't make it so cliche, keep me interested. You also have descriptive issues as well, when the guy walks into the bar all you tell us is that he looks mysterious and dangerous, nothing else. But yet for some reason everyone is staring at him, and he makes the girls go dizzy, why? What is it about him that is so captivating? Does he have long hair? Does he have a strange swagger in his step? Is he wearing alluring clothing? Does his face have a five day old miami vice stubble? Is there a strange scar under his eye? Why does this guy capture everyones attention? You need to convey that to me, the reader, i need to feel captivated by... More > this character as well, and i wasn't. You need more snap in your narrative as well. Currently it reads like a discovery channel documentary, your atmospheric build up is bland, all you're doing is stating the facts. Make your language and your world colorful, don't play by the rules, get inventive. I hope this review helps you in the future.< Less
  • By ascarlato
    Apr 5, 2005
    "Re: " try and download it now, and see what magically appears. angelo scarlato
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Product Details

Lulu Enterprises, Inc.
November 15, 2010
Perfect-bound Paperback
Interior Ink
Black & white
0.43 lbs.
Dimensions (inches)
6 wide x 9 tall
Product ID
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