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Lulu Sales Rank: 139910
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  • By Patrick Carrico
    Jun 4, 2017
    Follow four emasculated Israelis as they drink to excess, marvel at mustaches and speak in poetic terms and vibrant simile of anal sex and lust after a rotating cast of indifferent women. Camus' The Stranger meets Forest Gump, this novel follows Henry, a recent army enlistee as his passion for cooking is stoked by the rotting corpses in the cemetery he is sworn to protect. Guarding the Dead reads as a massive apology to womankind. Not simply your romanticized basic listing of personal faults, Private Henry amasses a full on indictment against himself. Culminating with the protagonist receiving a medal of honor from the president of Israel as fireworks explode over the Western wall. Henry is left to wonder if this was the universe's cruel way to commemorate his impotence. Does Henry trap the object of this affections into a listless middle aged marriage? Does the Paratrooper come to terms with his homosexuality and accept the job at Amazon order fulfillment? This is a sweet, readable... More > novel by a funny sweet man. An obvious testament to his gratitude towards the people he loves. Give it a read you cheap bastards. Excerpts from Guarding the Dead: "That well groomed mustache was a thing of beauty. It was thick black and bushy but perfectly trimmed, an outward sign of masculinity Henry could only dream of obtaining." "Did you know ducks have a corkscrew shaped penis and female ducks have a reverse corkscrew vagina, making intercourse almost impossible?" "She ran her hand over his face and rested it on his shoulder. Henry made himself a sandwich with pita bread from the freezer and more salami."< Less
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Product Details

Published
May 14, 2017
Language
English
Pages
498
Binding
Perfect-bound Paperback
Interior Ink
Black & white
Weight
0.72 lbs.
Dimensions (inches)
6 wide x 9 tall
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