Life Sucks, Death Bites
eBook (PDF), 258 Pages
36-year old actuary Gerald Blumenstein despised every aspect of his life. His butterball-esque appearance was unappealing, his dull job unnerving, his cramped apartment uncomfortable, and his love life nonexistent. And yet, not a soul in the world was more petrified of death than Gerald. In fact, Gerald Blumenstein would do anything to avoid dying, even if it meant remaining trapped forever in an existence that, quite frankly, sucked. Then, one fateful night, while attending a highly unorthodox therapy session mandated by his boss, Gerald Blumenstein died. Now his life will never be the same . . . Life Sucks, Death Bites is a dark comedy about the inconveniences of daily life and nightly “undeath,” with some romance and a bit of psychotherapy thrown in for good measure. If the three critically acclaimed HBO series, Curb Your Enthusiasm, True Blood, and In Treatment, could procreate, this novel would undoubtedly be the lovechild that they would produce.
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Feb 7, 2010I'm going to be perfectly honest. Initially, I did NOT want to read this book. My friend's kid wrote it and I felt kind of roped in to purchasing it. For one thing, it's about vampires! What grown man reads books about vampires? Plus, I was sure that I would inevitably be forced to say something nice about the book, regardless of how I actually felt about it. But then, something happened. I was on a train, coming home from a business meeting, and I actually started reading it. Two pages in, I was already laughing. At page 6 I was laughing again . . . LOUDLY. By page 15 the laughter was pretty much nonstop. Don't let the premise fool you, like it did me. Life Sucks, Death Bites is a clever, intelligent, fast-paced novel about a miserable middle aged guy, who just so happens to be hilarious in his misery. So what if he has fangs? Buy this book! You will be glad you did
Feb 6, 2010In her second novel, which appears to have been published simultaneously with her first, Julie Kushner proves that she is more than just a "one hit wonder." Unlike Hollywood Warlock, Life Sucks, Death Bites is told in a first-person narrative. The narrative structure definitely suited this story well, as the main character, Gerald Blumenstein, a sort of modern day, white collar, Archie Bunker, has such a distinct and interesting voice. Although a bit darker than her first novel, Life Sucks, Death Bites still possesses the heart and soul of Hollywood Warlock. Without being too preachy, this novel also provides a positive message about appreciating our lives for what they are - an important message for all of us during these tough economic times. Julie Kushner has also proven that she has a sense of humor, as Life Sucks, Death Bites, is (excuse the pun) deadly funny. I found myself belly laughing out loud at many points throughout this engaging story. Another must read.
Jan 27, 2010Who would have thought that a book about a vampire actuary could be therapeutic? You would think, given the book's title, that it would offer up a darkly comedic view of the worst that life has to offer. And, of course, when we first meet Gerald Blumenstein, he is not exactly a ball optimistic sunshine. In fact, he's pretty much having the worst day ever. Yet, as the novel moves forward, and Gerald gets some therapy, undergoes a major "change," and falls in love, us readers learn, along with the main character, that the world can be a pretty fun and exciting place . . even for the undead. Ultimately, Life Sucks, Death Bites is not only hysterically funny, it is actually rather life affirming. This is a great novel to read when you are having a bad day, or any kind of day for that matter . . .
Jan 26, 2010Julie Kushner doesn't disappoint in a Life Sucks, Death Bites, a book that is vastly different from Hollywood Warlock, but everywhere near as good. Gerald Blumenstein is every person's inner curmudgeon. He says all of the nasty things, we think, but wouldn't dare say. And yet, the main character of the novel is surprisingly likeable. You find yourself really rooting for this loveable loser. A funny and oddly therapeutic take on life and everything that comes after -- Life Sucks, Death Bites is a must read.
Jan 24, 2010Life Sucks, Death Bites is probably one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. If George Costanza from Seinfeld lived in LA and had accidentally been turned into a vampire by his shrink, he would be Gerald Blumenstein. Some of my favorite parts of the book are the letters and news articles that begin a few of the chapters. The transcript of the conversation between Gerald and an "automated customer service representative" is a classic! Give Life Sucks, Death Bites a try. You won't be disappointed.
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- Julie Kushner (Standard Copyright License)
- First Edition
- September 28, 2011
- File Format
- File Size
- 1.01 MB
- Product ID
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- life ,
- death ,
- blood ,
- vampire ,
- actuary ,
- romance ,
- psychiatrist ,
- shrink ,
- psychotherapy ,
- sex ,
- devil ,
- Los Angeles ,
- Roosevelt Hotel ,
- Marilyn Monroe ,
- True Blood ,
- In Treatment ,
- Curb Your Enthusiasm ,
- curmudgeon ,
- OCD ,
- obsessive-compulsive ,
- fear ,
- humor ,
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