This book explains violent and abusive behaviour and places it in a social context. It can help readers of any age and sexual orientation to change their own behaviour and to recognise when they are being controlled
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By LINDSAY LITTLE
Oct 15, 2009
"Living with the Dominator" I read this book after leaving a violent and emotionally abusive relationship. This book along with the Freedom Programme, that was developed by Pat Craven, saved my life. It gave me a eye opening insight into many behaviours of the dominator and why we stay in abusive relationships. It helped me begin to regain confidence and to have the power to stand up and have my voice heard. Living with the Dominator is a must read for everyone. In particular it would be highly beneficial for those who are in/have been in abusive relationships as well as introducing it to teenagers in schools. It is also a fantastic read for proffesionals in the social care field as it can help with the knowledge of spotting the 'warning signs'. I hope many more people will get as much out of this book as I have. Well done Pat Craven for writing such a helpful and insightful book. Lindsay Little
"Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven" This thought-provoking book is worth far more than its weight in gold. Deceptively simple in its straightforward, witty approach and illustrated with clever cartoons by Jacky Fleming, it is a vital tool for anyone who feels trapped in an abusive relationship but it is much more than a self-help guide for abused women. Despite the casting of the male gender in the role of the dominator (which Pat justifies with the appropriate use of statistics), it crosses all gender boundaries and ultimately is all about encouraging people to be kinder to each other, regardless of race, colour, creed, gender or sexual orientation. Living with the Dominator should be an essential, eye-opening read for anyone involved at every level in working with either victims or perpetrators of domestic abuse. With incisive wit and intelligent use of humour, the different aspects of the dominator are laid bare, providing tremendous insight into the power balance... More > within relationships, particularly in the identification of specific behaviour patterns which can leave victims reeling in their struggle to make sense of their situation. This book is also painfully explicit about the effects of abusive relationships upon those children caught in the middle. It would be impossible for anyone to read this book without considering their own attitudes and beliefs as well as identifying the ways in which we all will have been manipulated by others in different ways throughout our lives. In addition to helping me to understand the ways that I have been controlled and manipulated in my relationships, it has helped me enormously to put my own beliefs and attitudes in a better perspective and to begin to make the changes which I hope will lead me to be a better person – but one who will never again be willing to accept life with a dominator! Linda Harris< Less
