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  • By Phyllis Roelofs
    Nov 26, 2018
    As an adoptive parent I have carefully considered the theory of the adoptee’s primal wound. The theory, as written by Nancy Verrier, 1993, postulates that severing the connection between the infant and biological mother through adoption causes a primal wound which often manifests itself in a sense of loss, basic mistrust, emotional and/or behavioral problems, and difficulties in relationships with significant others. As a result, I better understand an adoptee’s possible difficulty with accepting or adopting one’s adoptive parents. Nydam is thorough in addressing the challenges that adoptive parents and adoptees face with attachment, especially when children are adopted after already having experienced, what Nydam calls, a first family. He states that glorifying adoption creates blind spots and that the fears and anxieties of adoptive parents are often minimized or disallowed. Nydam devotes an entire chapter to the importance of the use of empathy and its value for wise adoptive... More > parenting. I especially appreciated chapter nine, “God on the Block”. I find helpful the insights written about an adoptee’s possible difficulty with viewing God in a positive light, as well as adoptive parents, counselors, and clergy. Our son, adopted as an infant, is now forty-eight years old and well attached in our family. Yet after reading this book, I found myself wishing it had been available as a resource many years ago. Use of the concepts and suggestions in it may have assisted our navigating some of the difficulties we and our son experienced throughout the years. I strongly recommend Nydam’s book, Wise Adoptive Parenting, as a supportive resource for anyone considering adopting a child of any age. I also consider it an important read for relatives and friends of adoptive parents and adoptees, and a “must read” for adoption case workers and therapists. Phyllis Roelofs, adoptive parent< Less
  • By Ronald Jack Nydam
    Sep 25, 2018
    ly finished reading “Wise Adoptive Parenting When Kids Struggle To Adopt Their Patents” by Ron Nydam Ph. D. If you are considering adopting a child, I suggest you read this book first. It opens up a lot of issues that most people would never think about. It will be useful in terms of helping adoptive parents understand why their adopted child has a hard time connecting with them.-Karlene Werner, an adult adoptee
  • By Ken Nydam
    Jul 27, 2018
    My brother wrote this book, his second on Adoption. But my appreciation for it stems mostly because I am a clinical social worker with a private practice and this book is so helpful to help me understand what my adoptive-parent clients are experiencing in their failing adoptions and how to validate them in their misery. Most adoptive parents whose adopted children are seriously resisting being adopted (absorbing their parents love) are isolated by the lack of understanding in society about how horrible their home life has become because of this adopted child who refuses and fears their love. This book clearly traces out for therapists and people outside the adoptive circle the complicated and misunderstood dynamics which can render some adoptive parents disappointed, disillusioned and filled with shame. "How can something so wonderful as adoption become such a nightmare of hatred and violence?" Ron's book brings understanding and healing to this important issue. It is a must... More > read for every aspiring adoptive parent, any therapist working with such families, and for adoptive agency staff who are the gatekeepers of adoption.< Less
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Product Details

First Edition
Adoption Dynamics Publications
July 3, 2018
Perfect-bound Paperback
Interior Ink
Black & white
1.44 lbs.
Dimensions (inches)
6 wide x 9 tall
Product ID
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