Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in a... More > call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire?
This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true). Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems (one of which is about a person that falls off a roof!) AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?'
My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face right now, it's like a never-ending meringue x< Less
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in a... More > call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true). Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems (one of which is about a person that falls off a roof!) AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?' My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face right now, it's like a never-ending meringue x< Less
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in... More > a call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true).
Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems (one of which is about a person that falls off a roof!) AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?'
My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face right now, it's like a never-ending meringue x< Less
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in... More > a call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true).
Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?'
My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face, it's like a never-ending meringue x
100 pages of extra material!< Less
A collection of dark, twisted and horrific poems and words from the mind of Zelda Halopile. Each one complimented by Gothic images conjured up by Zelda's imp familiar, Tumulu.
Join Zelda on a... More > nightmare journey and let her introduce you to her sureal hybrid animal creations.
Not for children or for adults who are easily offended or are cursed with a closed and rational mind.< Less
A book of witty, funny, absurd, rhymes about strange and unusual animals creations that have been magically made by the mysterious Zelda Halopile. This brightly coloured book, featuring amazing... More > illustrations from Zelda's imp friend, Tumulu, will amuse both children and adults. For fans of Doctor Seuss, Roald Dahl and Edward Lear, oh and Zelda Halopile.< Less
A collection of dark, twisted and horrific poems and words from the mind of Zelda Halopile. Each one complimented by Gothic images conjured up by Zelda's imp familiar, Tumulu.
Join Zelda on a... More > nightmare journey and let her introduce you to her sureal hybrid animal creations.
Not for children or for adults who are easily offended or are cursed with a closed and rational mind.< Less
