The Kill Order by Kay Berger.
I had a voice in my head telling me that I wasn’t good enough at anything. I wasn’t good enough as a human being. I was too fat at 130 pounds. I was too... More > smart and no one likes a smart girl. Repeatedly, this tape played and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t concentrate on anything during the day. All I wanted to do was kill myself. I thought about all the different ways I could do it from one moment to the next. I felt hopeless and dejected.
My thoughts became a swirling madness in my head. As the spiral slowed to a dull roar, I became exhausted. Finally...< Less