More From David Bret

Rudolph Valentino's Moose: The Nancy Sphinctergritzel Story: An Illustrated Irreverent Spoof About the World's Most Infamous Lush By David Bret
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"The Queen of Homophobes” (1904-2010) was the illegitimate daughter of a parson’s wife and an Indian brave. Leaving her shack, she arrived in Hollywood and appeared in a film with... More > Mary Pickford. Seven times married she loved one man—Valentino—who denied knowing her. After his death she began a hate campaign to prove he had never loved other men, or any woman but her. She helped set up Confidential magazine, tried to block the Kinsey Report, joined the McCarthy witch-hunt. For 68 years she worked on 'My Life With Rudy', the greatest literary failure of all time. She wed for the last time at 99 to a man 80 years her junior who predeceased her. She died at 105 on the anniversary of her imaginary lover’s death—after a sexual accident. Author’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. WARNING: contains adult material of a sexual nature!< Less
Our Annie's Funeral By David Bret
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A monologue wherein the best-selling biographer David Bret recalls his grandmother’s funeral on 4 February 1972, as seen through the eyes of his much-loved Aunty Kate, who had a peculiar way of... More > looking at the world. It was one of the saddest days of Bret's life, yet upon reflection and when recalled by Kate, so unintentionally hilarious. Also featured is a short essay on Bret's grandmother from his forthcoming autobiography, "My Own Story: The Uncensored Memoirs of the Celebrity Biographer".< Less
A Boy Named Cemetery: A Nancy Sphinctergritzel Story: An Illustrated Irreverent Spoof About the World's Most Infamous Lush By David Bret
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Nancy Sphinctergritzel (1904-2010), the notorious Hollywood lush, had an imaginary love affair with Rudolph Valentino for over 8o years. The quintessential example of Machiavellian insanity, her... More > lifelong aim was to prove he never had sex with men, that she was the only woman he had ever loved. While doing so, no crime was too heinous for her—even murder. It took her 67 years to write 'My Life With Rudy', minutes for the victims of her homophobia to destroy. She married seven times. Her seven children were taken into care. This is the story of one—Cemetery, named after the location where he was conceived. As Philip Shufflewick-Voss he entered the movies, yet when fame beckoned, this sympathetic young man had but one quest—to destroy the woman who had destroyed others whose only crime was, like himself, loving other men. AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.< Less
A Boy Named Cemetery: A Nancy Sphinctergritzel Story By David Bret
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Nancy Sphinctergritzel (1904-2010), the notorious Hollywood lush, had an imaginary love affair with Rudolph Valentino for over 8o years. The quintessential example of Machiavellian insanity, her... More > lifelong aim was to prove he never had sex with men, that she was the only woman he had ever loved. While doing so, no crime was too heinous for her—even murder. It took her 67 years to write 'My Life With Rudy', minutes for the victims of her homophobia to destroy. She married seven times. Her seven children were taken into care. This is the story of one—Cemetery, named after the location where he was conceived. As Philip Shufflewick-Voss he entered the movies, yet when fame beckoned, this sympathetic young man had but one quest—to destroy the woman who had destroyed others whose only crime was, like himself, loving other men. AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.< Less