A year after his son's death, the author turns to sailing as a means of alleviating his grief.
The narrative follows his learning the art of sailing and his initial voyage.
There is an inner journey as well. It takes the reader along a spiritual path that entails the connection the author, his wife, and his son had with a Native American spiritual teacher.
Life's most heartbreaking tragedy, the death of one's child is explored in ways perhaps not ordinarily perceived as grieving.
This work was written in 1993, now published for the first time.
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By Mandy Ehrlich
Jul 4, 2009
"Open The River" I recently read Open The River and was moved by Vitae's journey towards understanding the purpose of death. Having recently lost my best friend of more than twenty years I found solace in Vitae's quest for distraction; I too have been looking for something to take my mind off of the pain. I was impressed by his insightful boating adventure. He has found a way of escaping the reality of his hurt while looking it plainly in the face. His time on The River must afford him the opportunity to greive in a more honest manner than one would expect in "public." Vitae's writing style in this book allows the reader a unique window into his life; many authors are not as willing to be as open and candid. I found that the path of surviving someone that you have loved with great intensity is universal. We all must overcome our greif and anger. We all must continue to live even with that empty space in our lives. Vitae has filled his space with his boat and The... More > River. I found this book to be inspirational. Thank you Vitae.< Less
"Open The River" You can feel the wisdom, energy, strength and grief of his words resonate on these pages. Especially insightful for parents who have not lost a child, who have not had to live through what Bergman has. Hard to put down, reads like a mystery, which it is, a spiritual quest. If you've ever wondered about the lure of the open sea and sailing, wonder no more. It's right here.
"Good book...if you give it a chance. " I lost my 7 year old daughter last year in a car crash, so I was really looking forward to a book whose central theme was grief, but this is a book about a man who discovers boating, and only remembers his son every so often as he's boating. At first, I was disappointed with this book, because it had so much boating lore in it. I was impatient to read the parts about grief, since those were the only parts that spoke to me. I was hoping for a book that was similar to so many of the other grief books that I've been reading and enjoying: brief and direct. But as I read through the book a second time, I found what I was looking for...it's just that you have to stay with the author to find it. If I had one criticism, it would be to put more philosophical stuff in the beginning, and don't save it for later. There is a great line on page 57 that would make a great intro to the book: I have always trusted that the meaning of life ultimately... More > comes mainly through our emotional experience. That, no matter the cause, no matter what purpose we attach to our actions, simply experiencing the joys and sorrows of life in all their various ways and nuances—simply this emotional response, is all that is needed to render life meaningful. Then I could hang on to that bit of wisdom as I watched Vitae live out his boating experiences, instead of wondering "why's he getting so involved with minutiae of boating?" If I had a foreknowlege of his opinion of life, I'd be constantly watching to see if his worldview was being frustrated. Anyway, for grieving parents, be prepared for a book that luxuriates in the telling of a tale, but does deliver in the end with great metaphors and heartfelt discussion.< Less
"Re: Disappointed" Dear Mr. Salmon: Thank you for you honest comments. I'm so very sorry for your loss, and I honor your deep grief. I know so well how every fiber of one's body aches at the loss of a child. We each have our own way of learning how to live and go on despite the pain and sorrow we carry with us. I still mourn my son. If I failed in your opinion to show the fullness of my sorrow, I am truly sad. For your sake as much as for mine. Im not willing to believe my taking up sailing was an attempt to 'escape' or 'retreat' from my heart's grief. A friend of my son's once asked me how I handled his death. Without thinking I replied that I seem to do it by living my life more intensely. And maybe I do so as a way of living a life for him as well. Life and death are a great mystery to me; and how each of us relates to this mystery is yet another mystery to me. Thank you again for speaking your speak. May your daughter know how much you love her and miss her. I'm... More > absolutely certain she is always near you and knowing your heart. Blessings to you, Vitae< Less
