Author Spotlight
www.ZeldaHalopile.com www.AbsurdAgonies.com
Can Tea Really Make You Invisible? By Zelda Halopile
eBook (PDF): $2.89
Please note - Offensive and crude content - not for children or idiots! Can Tea Really Make You Invisible? (and other stuff) is the second book of a series of five (planned) by the mysterious,... More > masked, author, Zelda Halopile. Zelda has discovered that tea is not only behind the creation of God and Jesus, but was also the main factor in the destruction of the dinosaurs, Hitler’s evil, JK Rowling’s success, Michael Jackson in general, Dracula, and Stephen Hawkin – as well as a whole host of other amazing events to have unfolded in human history. Learn, through over 300 pages of surreal celebrity tales, the dark secrets of tea. And learn more about the origins of Zelda Halopile! Filled to the brim with swearing, violence, line-crossing stories, the occult, time travel, Gods, monsters and legends, Can Tea Really Make You Invisible (and other stuff) promises to be the most unique book you will have ever read by the most unique and twisted author you will have ever encountered.< Less
Can Tea Really Make You Invisible? By Zelda Halopile
Paperback: List Price: $18.99 $15.19 | You Save: 20%
Prints in 3-5 business days
Please note - Offensive and crude content - not for children or idiots! Can Tea Really Make You Invisible? (and other stuff) is the second book of a series of five (planned) by the mysterious,... More > masked, author, Zelda Halopile. Zelda has discovered that tea is not only behind the creation of God and Jesus, but was also the main factor in the destruction of the dinosaurs, Hitler’s evil, JK Rowling’s success, Michael Jackson in general, Dracula, and Stephen Hawkin – as well as a whole host of other amazing events to have unfolded in human history. Learn, through over 300 pages of surreal celebrity tales, the dark secrets of tea. And learn more about the origins of Zelda Halopile! Filled to the brim with swearing, violence, line-crossing stories, the occult, time travel, Gods, monsters and legends, Can Tea Really Make You Invisible (and other stuff) promises to be the most unique book you will have ever read by the most unique and twisted author you will have ever encountered.< Less
Zelda's Darkly Absurd Curiosities - Animals By Zelda Halopile
eBook (PDF): $4.60
A collection of dark, twisted and horrific poems and words from the mind of Zelda Halopile. Each one complimented by Gothic images conjured up by Zelda's imp familiar, Tumulu. Join Zelda on a... More > nightmare journey and let her introduce you to her sureal hybrid animal creations. Not for children or for adults who are easily offended or are cursed with a closed and rational mind.< Less
Zelda's Absurd Curiosities - Animals By Zelda Halopile
Paperback: $20.01
Prints in 3-5 business days
(1 Ratings)
A book of witty, funny, absurd, rhymes about strange and unusual animals creations that have been magically made by the mysterious Zelda Halopile. This brightly coloured book, featuring amazing... More > illustrations from Zelda's imp friend, Tumulu, will amuse both children and adults. For fans of Doctor Seuss, Roald Dahl and Edward Lear, oh and Zelda Halopile.< Less
Zelda's Darkly Absurd Curiosities - Animals By Zelda Halopile
Paperback: $11.65
Prints in 3-5 business days
A collection of dark, twisted and horrific poems and words from the mind of Zelda Halopile. Each one complimented by Gothic images conjured up by Zelda's imp familiar, Tumulu. Join Zelda on a... More > nightmare journey and let her introduce you to her sureal hybrid animal creations. Not for children or for adults who are easily offended or are cursed with a closed and rational mind.< Less
Zelda's Absurd Agonies PDF Stand Ed. By Zelda Halopile
eBook (PDF): $2.38
(2 Ratings)
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in a... More > call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true). Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems (one of which is about a person that falls off a roof!) AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?' My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face right now, it's like a never-ending meringue x< Less
Zelda's Absurd Agonies PDF - Special ed By Zelda Halopile
eBook (PDF): $3.92
(1 Ratings)
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in a... More > call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true). Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems (one of which is about a person that falls off a roof!) AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?' My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face right now, it's like a never-ending meringue x< Less
Zelda's Absurd Agonies - special edition By Zelda Halopile
Hardcover: $33.69
Prints in 3-5 business days
(13 Ratings)
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in... More > a call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true). Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?' My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face, it's like a never-ending meringue x 100 pages of extra material!< Less
Zelda's Absurd Agonies By Zelda Halopile
Paperback: $10.66
Prints in 3-5 business days
(2 Ratings)
Is your son a vampire? Is your garden being destroyed by dinosaurs? Have you got a troll living in your head? In this book you will read about the torment caused to some lovely people who work in... More > a call centre in Belfast by common situations such as those mentioned in the first sentence. Remember? Is your son a vampire? This book will not only change your life but it will also make you thin (not true) AND will give you the ability to suck a TV remote control from over 30 feet away just by flapping your eyelids (also not true). Along with loads of agony cases and my solutions you will also get an insight into my personal life, about my late husband 'Simply' Gary (by late I mean dead, and not that he is unreliable) and two poems (one of which is about a person that falls off a roof!) AND some stuff about the celebrities I met as I researched my next book 'Can Tea Really Make You Invisible?' My name is Zelda Halopile and I really enjoy your face right now, it's like a never-ending meringue x< Less