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Free Speech - The Ugly Beautiful Truth
2008 Dec 01 www.myspace.com/terrybanks
www.datpoetgurl.com
www.blogtalkradio.com/sistasinpoetry
www.youtube.com/datpoetgurl
and a bunch of others sites that I just can't remember lol.
2006 Oct 15 some days i wonder what the hell i'm doing with this man
and some days i wonder how do i love him so much
but then i think i'm in over my head
sometimes i wish we never met
and sometimes i wish he never knew how i felt
but then i hope he really does love me
everyday i want to see his face, taste him
and get lost in him
when he smiles at me i melt
but then i wake up and realize
i'm still married and he may never be mine
2006 Aug 14 was born on August 1, 2006 at 8:25am. She was 7lbs 11oz and just as beautiful as the rest of my children. And much like my other daughter she's a diva. So much attitude in such a little person. I named her after her grandmother since I've heard great things about her. Her grandmother past away years ago and I never met her but from the moment I walked into this woman's house I felt welcomed. I truly believe her spirit welcomed me. Anywho, Mary is a beautiful little girl and now I have five little angels. It's funny how things happen. I wrote a poem about having another daughter about two years ago and I named it Mary. I had a son in between the time I wrote the poem and when I was carrying him I thought this must be my daughter but it was a boy so I thought well why did that poem come to me and how was I inspired to write it the way I did. One of those things that happens rarely I guess. Just wanted to announce the birth of Mary and talk about her a little bit. peace
2006 Jun 05 i write the words
they sing the songs
i have the blues
but in a way it's good news
i feel ashamed
i'm afraid of fame
i have no friend
and life is at it's end
i sing the songs that depress me more
i long to see the beach so i can drown and be washed ashore
i write the words but no one cares about me
no one will let me be me
he looks at me
and wishes in his heart i was someone else
2006 May 07 Terry's Revelation
I have cried in the arms of my children
They welcomed me with their little hearts
With their opened minds and innocent eyes
They don't understand my pain but they can see I'm trying
I didn't mean to cry in front of them
Didn't mean to upset them in any way
Didn't want them to worry about me
Because I am the reason I cry
But I feel refreshed when I am embrased by my little ones
Like I'm ready to continue the fight
Almost as if I can now face the reality of life
And this is why I know God sent them to me
I was battered and abused long before I had them
And now they are here to help heal me
Maybe even save me from myself
They are all that matter to me
2006 Apr 22 4-22-06
each time i give myself to you
i share my soul with you
and each time afterwards
you hurt me with your words
tonight i asked you why
you replied it was so that i wouldn’t get hooked
my mouth dropped
my facial expression went from happy to sad
by the time i hung up the phone i was mad
i feel foolish for trying and denying my heart of real love and respect
staying around just to be around
getting yelled at and most times treated like a clown
i always start out up with you and end up so far down because of you
and i wonder how much more will my heart endure
never knowing for sure if the love you claim to have for me is pure
i’m just a cunt to you, someone to call when you need a nutt
but then again you let me know i’m not the only one you can call for that
so now that i’ve been unreasonably used and hurt but you
a man i cherish like the finest silver
all i can do is write about it, cry about it and hope God puts me out of my misery
i have lived a loveless life
just look at my history
seems like my road is almost at it’s dead end
some days i wish it would come sooner
all because of love and the lack thereof
yes, i wish we never met
i wish i could have kept my legs closed
i wish my mom loved me
and i wish my husband understood me
i never would have left
but i see now that only fools wish
and only the bold live out their dreams
i guess i’m a fool trying to boldly live in a dream
and just when i thought i found love with you
reality kicked in and now i’m right back in my own hell again
self inflicted pain because i decided to let my guard down and trust in another man
2006 Apr 15
I loved him with my soul
I was wrong for that
I was not his for me to do something like that
I made him mine or at least I tried to
He pushed away and loved me less each day
I’m in a hole, a deep dark hole of despair
My heart is breaking, hurting
He doesn’t seem to care
He doesn’t seem to notice that for him I’m there
Waiting for his heart to meet up with mine
I feel I’m losing him and running out of time
All because I loved him with my soul
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