The True You Shines: Let Go of Guilt and Shame

Guilt is about doing or not doing something. It’s about action: ‘I stole an apple, so I feel guilty because the action was wrong. I’ve wrongfully taken something from somebody else.’ That’s guilt. Guilt can become shame when you internalise it. Instead of simply relating it to an action, you might say: ‘I’m a thief. I’m a bad person. I don’t deserve to ever eat again because I’ve taken food from others.’ Shame moves beyond simple action to identification. It’s about who you feel you are: ‘I’m wrong. I’m a bad person. I’m not good enough.’ Or maybe you feel you need to visit your sick aunt, but then you don’t go, and she passes away. You feel guilty because you didn’t do it, but It becomes shame when you go beyond the action and identify with it: ‘I’m a careless person. I’m selfish.’ That’s the difference. And that’s also why guilt and shame are sometimes confused or linked together.