So what do autism and ADHD look like in me? Too often I have heard people make comments that I don’t seem like I have autism/ADHD. It is not a compliment to tell someone that they don’t seem neurodivergent, when not fitting in that box has denied them access to health care, support and caused them pain. The misconceptions around what it means to be an autistic woman with ADHD hurt my heart. But everything hurts my heart. My neurodivergence does not just look like my heart on my sleeve, it can also look like my heart walking around on the outside of my body. Sometimes I am so full of love it physically hurts me. Often my feelings are so intense that they physically hurt me. I do not lack empathy, I have too much of it. I can feel everyone else’s feelings just as strongly as I feel my own and it makes my relationships deep and meaningful but at time’s painful and difficult to navigate. I have lost people I loved because I simply could not carry their emotions anymore and I hadn’t learnt how to tell them that, the only way that I knew how to cope was to disappear from their lives. I would try to give too much to others and it would either drain me until I fled or it ended up hurting me when they did not want it. This is a short story about how I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD and autism until I was 28 despite countless trips to different psychiatrists and psychologists.