AAW

Conference-Approved Book Written by Women? Not yet. But, our Women’s Step Topics Group prepared a new Big Book for women. We found that certain common A.A. suggestions for men are misleading for women. This includes discussions of self-forgetting, morality, perfection, and more. For many men, self-forgetting is helpful. But women are often caretakers of others and neglect self-care, putting ourselves last. I recall one woman shared this: “I was worried about my (1) son’s schoolwork, (2) husband’s job, and (3) father’s health. But I have to get less selfish about my problems and get into service for others.” I silently noted that she just mentioned three people that were not her. Many women don’t recognize themselves, go overboard with service to others, and put themselves last. Self-forgetting is a character defect women must overcome by giving up selfishness or self-will and practicing self-care and self-discovery. We eliminated the word “moral” since there is a double standard for men and women. A man may be a called stud, but a women with that behavior is called a very derogatory name. Although claiming progress not perfection, the big book often tells us to strive for perfection. Women tend to be perfectionist and self-critical. “Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” For “perfection”, we substituted the word “excellence”. Among the Women’s Step Topics we discuss are: • Perfectionism • Mother Guilt • Surrender not submission • Victims of abuse • Self-critical tendencies • False urges to apologize • What we own and what we don't • Personalizing our prayers