"Honest, Not Invent" is a stew of engaged, enraged, hilarious political and cultural satire, seasoned with some culinary practices from the last days of the old-school grand hotels. Gardening, Scotland, British television, the NHS, and our American cousins, all have (dis)honourable mention. It lampoons, excoriates and mocks the excesses, debauchery and dishonesty of the twenty-first century; ishmael's profound morality is couched in irreverent, scatological and diabolically inventive foul and abusive language. Above all, it is funnier than you can imagine. The origin of these essays, collected here for the first time, is the blogosphere - for twelve years the late mr ishmael smith was an adored contributor to, and host of, influential political blogs, the creator of stanislav, a young polish plumber, and other avatars. Stalwart stanislav enthusiasts will know exactly what to expect; newcomers have a treat in store, though it's only fair to add that this work requires a cast-iron constitution to avoid prolapse of the laughter muscles and to appreciate the wildly inventive language that takes Lenny Bruce's linguistic dexterity to bold new horizons : remember, "there are no dirty words, only dirty minds."