What's Eating You?

In a dystopian world, where oligarchical overlords have replaced cheese as one of the main ingredients in pizza, an underground movement of conscientious consumers have banded together to overthrow the culinary heathens. Although the resistance is passionate, and dedicated to the fulfillment of their mission, their recruitment attempts have fallen flat due to the general public's fear that a rebellion would fail without some sort of "secret weapon." The Brotherhood of Elders has decided to send their youngest, and most handsome member, Jim, to a nearby island to recruit the neighboring colony of cannibals (because cannibals are hardcore, and don't eat pizza). Will Jim be able to establish diplomatic relations with flesh-eating foreigners, navigate complicated bro conundrums, and get the girl, to live happily ever after?