Not My Will

“Considering the circumstances, we really don’t feel it’s safe for you to remain in the country any longer. What would you think about returning home and serving a service mission?” I was speechless. “No!” I cried, gripping the sides of my chair. “The Lord has called me to serve in Chile, and I’m only halfway done! I’m not going home, even if it kills me!” Hermana Abalos gave a nervous laugh, but a look of fear flashed in her eyes. “Why can’t I get across to you, Elder Jensen? That’s exactly our fear! What if this is the Lord’s will, Elder?” My mind raced, and the tears flowed harder. Was it possible that God wanted me to go home? No. I wouldn’t believe it. “Are you even giving me a choice?” Hermana Abalos huffed. “Forcing you to go home against your will would almost certainly make matters worse. Yet in your current state, my conscience won’t let me recommend to the Mission President that you stay. But… if you agree to try taking an antidepressant, we might just consider letting you stay a little longer.”