Author Spotlight
Ce Acatl Books: Lawrence Burton
Ten Days in Mexico City By Lawrence Burton
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This is the first in Lawrence Burton's potty-mouthed five volume memoir of his travels in Mexico. In September 1999, never having been anywhere outside of England, Lawrence Burton bought a plane... More > ticket and went to stay in Mexico City for a couple of weeks. He was alone, bewildered, and had experienced serious trouble getting anything from that Teach Yourself Spanish course to stick, but it was something he felt he had to do. He visited museums, climbed temple platforms, failed to take in the paintings of José María Velasco, ate a mysterious brown substance that was probably instant mashed potato made with beef stock, endured the scorn of small children, saw Barney the Dinosaur, and kept a diary. This is that diary, a record of culture shock as it happens, and an improvised train of archeological and anthropological thought seasoned with jokes about wanking. This is probably a new kind of travel writing. Maybe.< Less
Ten More Days in Mexico City By Lawrence Burton
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This is the second in Lawrence Burton's potty-mouthed five volume memoir of his travels in Mexico. One evening back in May 2001, Lawrence Burton went to the pub with Rob and Zoe, specifically the... More > Hobgoblin in Forest Hill. Zoe seemed quiet at first, but the more they drank, the more pleasurable the evening became as beer - and probably also crisps or peanuts, maybe even pork scratchings - didst liberate their tongues, bringing forth a great flow of chatter and bants concerning matters of little consequence in the great scheme of things. They discussed Haircut 100 and their musical superiority over comical goth twats, the Mission. They spoke of Tim Westwood and the many ways in which the man is to be considered a bit of a tool. The events of that evening are recorded in this book, a unique distillation of words from Burton's otherwise neglected diary of the time, along with a load of stuff about how he went to stay in Mexico City for a bit.< Less
Nine Days in Mexico By Lawrence Burton
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This is the third in Lawrence Burton's potty-mouthed five volume memoir of his travels in Mexico. In September 1999, never having been anywhere outside of England, Lawrence Burton bought a plane... More > ticket and went to stay in Mexico City for a couple of weeks. He did it again in September 2001, and then again a year later in September 2002. This book, based on his diary, documents this third excursion, along with an earlier and thoroughly dispiriting trip to visit his friend Paul in Brighton, plus one further week back in England which is mostly just whining about Royal Mail and having to get up at five in the morning. Nine Days in Mexico City represents a unique fusion of armchair archaeology, ethnography, travel writing, toilet humour, lechery, and complaints, although admittedly it probably shares much thematic common ground with the other four volumes in the series.< Less
El Cuarto Relacion de las Cosas de Nueva España By Lawrence Burton
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This is the fourth in Lawrence Burton's potty-mouthed five volume memoir of his travels in Mexico. Lawrence Burton embarked upon his fourth expedition to Mexico City in September 2003, but this time... More > things were different. His beloved Hotel Lafayette had no available rooms, and Motecuhzoma Xocoyotzin, the late ninth Tlatoani of the Mexica chose this occasion to take his revenge upon Burton's bottom, cursing him with terrible diarrhoea. Nevertheless, the explorer persevered undaunted, forging paths to all of the usual pyramids, temples, and bookstores using routes blessed with toilet facilities; and he also met a kid with a massive gun who scrounged fags from him. El Cuarto Relacion de las Cosas de Nueva España tells of these escapades and more, all liberally savoured with the usual blend of salacious observations and agricultural language.< Less
The Final Flight By Lawrence Burton
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This is the fifth in Lawrence Burton's potty-mouthed five volume memoir of his travels in Mexico. The texts of the ancients tell us that the five Gods of the Ahuiateteo punish sins of excess upon the... More > fifth occasion of their occurrence. Lawrence Burton had already been to Mexico City on four previous occasions, but this fifth time must surely be considered something different, for was he not travelling accompanied by his good friend, Rob? Was it not additionally so that life was generally good? Indeed, the answer was to the affirmative on both counts, and yet this was but the beginning of five dark and unfortunate years which would kick him repeatedly in the ass, leaving his life irrevocably changed forever. This was the end of the beginning.< Less
Pamphlets of Destiny By Lawrence Burton
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Since 2008, Lawrence Burton has been writing reviews of everything he reads, partially as an exercise in obliging himself to think about what he's been reading, partially for a grin. Most of these... More > reviews have been splattered around various bits of internet, and the first five years worth were collected and published as Crappy 1970s Paperbacks with Airbrushed Space Craft on the Covers, which didn't sell shit but was much loved by the three people who read it, including both Lawrence's own mother and 2010 Philip K. Dick Award winning author Mark Hodder. Pamphlets of Destiny constitutes a second corpulent instalment of his reviews combining extensive name dropping, bottom jokes, ponderous observations worthy of Pseud's Corner, and an ultimately wearying penchant for self deprecation. This collection also includes material withheld from the internet due to basic cowardice, and which is as such reproduced here for the first time. You really should buy it. It's exactly the sort of thing you like.< Less
Smoking Mirror By Lawrence Burton
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(1 Ratings)
It's all very well having this vaguely square blue-coloured thing by which one may travel anywhere and anywhen in the entirety of time and space, but when the entirety of time and space turns out to... More > be a few hundred miles across and a matter of years... well, let's just hope you're keen on hot, spicy food and know better than to go getting all huffy at the first hint of human sacrifice.< Less
Kiss of Life By various authors
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Robert Dellar, author, musician, and mental health activist passed away in December 2016, leaving behind friends, loved ones, and those whose lives had been left changed for the better by his... More > endlessly generous spirit. With this collection we remember him as we knew him, kind, occasionally acerbic, a trouble maker for all of the right reasons, passionate, talented, and funny. Robert left the world a better place than it was when he found it, and this anthology reveals how, and why his legacy endures beyond the cruel limit of the time we all got to spend with him. All proceeds from sales of this collection go the Mental Health Resistance Network, for which he was an advocate. Contributors include Ted Curtis, Andy Martin, Lucy Williams, Paul Mex, Amethyst Beeblebear, Andy Fraser, Stan Batcow, Jacob Bard-Rosenberg and others.< Less
A Brief Time of History By Lawrence Burton
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Ever since the creation of our world just 2,972 years ago, many great men have pondered the mysteries of the universe. At the same time, other men have asked of themselves questions carrying lesser... More > ontological significance. Who sprayed the shaving foam likeness of a chicken upon the bonnet of Frank's car? What sort of food might an elephant eat? What happens when your arse goes wrong in the United States of America with no Communism in place to guarantee health care? By what means did Owen Lees attempt to physically propel himself through the earth in hope of arriving in Australia? Why did no-one ever accept dinner invitations from the Coahuiltecs? These questions are answered herein, although not the ones about the mysteries of the universe. You'd probably need something a bit more sciencey for that.< Less
Gillingham 2189 By Lawrence Burton
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As the twentieth century furtively began to sniff the bottom of the twenty-first, few had the prescience to look forward to a time two centuries hence when Gillingham, a cheap and cheerful fourth... More > division football team would be stood proudly at the head of the league as a plucky group of aliens, clones, cyborgs, time-travellers, and at least one behorned supernatural deity formerly popular amongst Norwegian heavy metal fans, a team which would not only bang that square football into the back of the oppositional net time and again, but which would go on to save Earth from all those unspeakable entities H.P. Lovecraft used to write about, and feature in their very own copyright smashing Godzilla crossover event of questionable legality. Indeed, few had such prescience, and amongst those few was a bloke drawing a cartoon strip for Brian Moore's Head, the football fanzine which, quite frankly, made most of the rest look shite. Gaze ye here upon the collected works of that bloke.< Less