The name Octagon is a perfect metaphor for the life shared on these pages. A multi-sided closed figure bound by straight lines. This book offers the opportunity to look inside the Octagon. To see for yourself that much of the behavior that homosexuals partake in, is the result of the biases and prejudices in our society. Hiding a life is an awesome task, most often accomplished with duplicity and lies, which in turn makes a part of that life invisible. In the beginning stages Ryan realizes that his sexual preference is unchangable, yet he struggles to fit in, to be just like everyone else. As time goes on he realizes that he still has sexual needs, and in satisfing those needs, he often finds himself in precarious and sometimes dangereous situations. After years of anonymous sexual encounters and alcohol abuse he makes the decision to change his life. In the end he has to make the biggest decision in his life.

A collection of Poems, Essays, and Short Stories. CONTENTS--FOREWORDS * COME LOOK OUT MY WINDOW * EYES MIST WITH DESIRE * PRIVATE GARDEN * POLITICAL PUPPETRY * A CREAKY CLOSET DOOR * ODE TO A LOVER'S EYES * THE ZEALOT, THE LIAR, AND THE QUEER * THE BOOKSTORE * OF HIS FANTASY AND REALITY * A MAGICAL DESTINATION * FOOTSIES * DECEPTION OF HOMOPHOBIA * ODE TO TORMENTED SOULS * VALENTINE'S DAY IS * STRIVING AFTER WIND * THE ROOT OF HOMOPHOBIA - AN ESSAY * A FRAME OF WINTER * LOCKDOWN * ENCOUNTER WITH AN OGRE * THE TINY COFFEE BEAN * OF HER FANTASY AND REALITY * HOMEMADE ROOT BEER * NURTURE * LOCAL FAMILY FARMERS * WOODS OF YOUTH * POPCORN CHRONICLES * THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE CANDY BAR * INTERROGATION OF THE SENSES * HO HUM * OCTAGON IN VERSE * POOR PHILANTHROPIST * INSIDE THE OCTAGON - A CLOSING NOTE FROM RYAN KELLY