How to Write an Absolute Stinker

So, you want to write a book? Are you hoping that it will be a best-seller and sell gazillions? If so, this is not the book for you. This book is for those authors who want to write an absolute stinker, one that will sink without a trace after your grandmother has bought a copy. Where should we begin? The beginning would be a good place to start. Always start your sentences with ‘so’; not only is it grammatically incorrect but it will irritate the purists big-time. Big-time is also nice to use, as is the word ‘nice’. Darn we are getting off track already. (Did you see what I did there? Did you? Getting off track is good.) With tongue firmly in cheek, Justin Kruger-Park gives you easy to understand tips on how to write an absolute stinker of a book. See what the critics have to say about ‘How to Write an Absolute Stinker’ Utter Rubbish…Mediocrity Times Have mercy on our souls…Alien Authors Anonymous We want a dunny like that…Feral Farmers Union