Damsels in Despair

The Damsels are back—and this time, they’re in Despair. No, seriously. That’s the name of the province. Fleeing the chaos of Lurke, our beloved ladies and their loyal (if questionable) hangers-on wash up in a seemingly hostile land... only to find that the Durkans are rather a decent bunch. Before long, the Damsels are back in business—running a tavern with a bordello upstairs and winning over the locals the only way they know how. But peace never lasts where these ladies roam. A mystery mutilator stalks the village by night, lopping off certain treasured bits of male anatomy. Naturally, suspicion falls on the newest arrivals—can the Damsels unmask the culprit before they’re blamed for all the snipped-off shenanigans? Meanwhile, the disgraced Muldoons and Dingleberrys are plotting mischief of their own, desperate to reclaim their original bodies (long story). Enter Scruffulus, a conjurer of dubious morals and questionable hygiene, whose magical meddling might save the day—or spectacularly backfire. Dragged before the feared Durkan tyrant, Falroch the Foul, our heroines are shocked to find he’s not nearly as foul as advertised. In fact, he’s quite the host. Soon they’re mingling with Durkan high society, drinking far too much, and placing bets at the country’s most brutal sporting event: Maim, Mutilate & Murder. But trouble from Lurke isn’t finished with them yet. Elf Queen Rosie Gusset—once friend, now dangerously unhinged—sends her armies and warlocks north, bent on conquest. Can the Damsels use what they know of their former ally to stop the oncoming storm? Or will fate, folly, and nature itself prove that Despair was always their destiny?