Inspector Baseheart's Secret Files

As usual Inspector Baseheart’s plate is filled with blood and baloney. These are his Secret Files! A wealthy heiress calls Inspector Baseheart in terror. Her horoscope recommends caution: “You will die April 10.” A week later she is dead! The inspector is interviewed on the program TODAY'S MURDER: “The crime was impossible! How did it happen?” -- A ferocious Ape Man escapes his cage at the Sports Center, and devours many. The creature prefers Vegetable Lasagna, but lurks near the Orphanage! -- A high school English teacher is forced to diagram sentences by fiendish former students. Improper Subject-Verb Agreement can result in a death! -- Inspector Baseheart has a bone to pick with Aesop. Why? -- A billionaire’s well protected compound is invaded. The burglar has neutralized sensors and passed through a minefield. How does he prevent a highly trained cadre of Vegan Hunchbacks from tearing him to pieces? By donning a Lady GaGa Meat Dress! But how did he get back out? Only Inspector Baseheart has the answer!