Chicken 5, Man 0. The Wi-Fi War is ON. When 72-year-old Grandpa Barry tries to video call his grandkids, he discovers his Wi-Fi router has been taken hostage... by a Rhode Island Red hen in a tinfoil hat named Beyoncé. Grand Theft Router is a laugh-out-loud family comedy about unlikely friendship, suburban chaos, and the most ridiculous backyard war ever fought over an internet connection. What starts as a battle for bandwidth becomes a heartwarming story of kazoo bands at 6 AM, ketchup explosions, trampoline rocket launches, squirrel conspiracies, and one very small heated coop with its own Wi-Fi. Perfect for readers who love: Funny animal fiction & talking animal stories Wholesome family humor & grandparent books Pixar-style all-ages comedy with heart Dad jokes, movie quotes, and suburban hijinks Gifts for grandpas, dads, Father's Day, birthdays No romance. No swearing. 100% chaos. The toaster is on probation and the squirrels are NOT innocent. Final Score: Reader 1, Boredom 0. From the publisher: If you’ve ever lost an argument to technology... or poultry... this book is for you.