Alone and scared of life. Growing up in a town that sided with a monster because of being close to him. I was sexually abused from the ages of 8 till I was 13 years old '300 plus times'. They used me as a tool to feel alive, while carrying out their college degree in the criminal justice system to work around young boys the rest of their life. They are friends with the police in my state, and in this town that never cared about me as a child. I was hurting and scared from this terror in my home, while the police and investigators were having their family dinners, I was hiding from my own shadows from the fear of going to sleep from the dreams of my abuse. There were witnesses to the crimes against me, no one questioned them, and no one was ever held responsible for their crimes against me as a small 13 year old boy. The counseling place where I was being treated for their abuse had thrown me out of treatment because I filed a complaint because my abuser got a job there as a youth counselor. I am not a professional writer, and there will be mistakes in my book, but the raw fear and those mistakes this town made about leaving me to fight off the wolves of my dreams by myself will be there. Nothing speaks more about life than those who fight back anyway they can. For me, it is through these words and thoughts about my attempted suicides, and angering dreams of no one ever looking after me as a child. People grow up and release these demons anyway they can, and through the words of my own life in this book, these fears can be vanquished. The truth hurts, and sometimes it can never get out unless we take it upon ourselves to get it out. The world can now decide if the 300 plus times I was abused, the cover-up of these witnesses to this persons admission to his guilt, the nightmares, suicidal thoughts/actions, fear, depression, and loneliness was worth it to cover these crimes up. No one deserves to be silenced from speaking their own truth about what really happened to them as a child. Everyone that was abused deserves to be heard through whatever means is available. These words are my own. This life has taught me to be strong, and even when no one else cared about my life as a child, I am no longer scared to talk, I am not going to back down. This book is my justice. You are my hero's. I am thankful for you.