There are roughly 600,000 words in the English language. Most of the ways in which these words can be arranged make absolutely no sense. Try it. Pick a handful of words out of those 600,000 and see how it goes. Here’s a typical result: Polyp the translucent aardvark coconut rather bumpy my stump. See? Nonsense. And yet, within the pages of this book, you’ll find that, on average, about 75% of what you read makes sense! It’s nothing short of a literary miracle, especially considering the amount of beer involved in writing it. Furthermore, you might actually learn a few things, like: 1) How to fail at upgrading computers. 2) How to ride a motorcycle (spoiler: don’t) 3) How to make French toast (even if you’re not French!) 4) How to almost cut your hand off with a meat cleaver (being young and stupid helps) 5) And much, much more!