Your office is now a dungeon. Your boss is Level 99. Welcome to Orientation Day. Monday, 9:00am. Every screen on Earth turned blue. The System said: "Congratulations. You have been onboarded." Marcus "Mars" Delgado, IT Sysadmin, just wanted to close his tickets. Instead, he unlocked: • Stapler of +3 Piercing • Payroll Mage who does violence with spreadsheets • Janitor whose mop is a master key • Señor Botones, a Pomeranian who commits war crimes for XP Now HR has banned resignation, the CEO is the final boss, and the only way out is through Floor 30. To survive, Mars must do the impossible: Unionize the apocalypse. Cubicle Crawler: Orientation Day is a LitRPG comedy for fans of: ✓ Dungeon Crawler Carl meets The Office meets Office Space ✓ Corporate satire + progression fantasy + dungeon crawling ✓ Found family, workplace horror, and dogs with flamethrower builds ✓ Gamelit with actual laughs and real stakes Contains: Fermented fish as a weapon, weaponized math, extreme violence against middle management, and the phrase "Per my last email" used as a finishing move. Don’t fear the Hydra. Become the Hostile Takeover. Book 1 of the Cubicle Crawler series. LitRPG | Humor | Fantasy | Dystopian