She didn't choose the witch life. The witch life chose her, somewhere between her third situationship and her tarot subscription. Witch, Please is a collection of 50 original quotes for the woman who reads her horoscope before her email, knows her moon sign better than her blood type, and has absolutely no plans to apologize for either. Equal parts sassy and spiritual, this little book is full of lines made for screenshotting, captioning, and reading out loud to whoever needs to hear them most (often: you, at 11pm, holding a candle and a strong opinion). Inside, you'll find quotes about: Boundaries (the kind you set at full moon energy) Manifesting (a parking spot counts) Crystals, group chats, and emotional self-defense Mercury retrograde and other valid excuses Being a little too intuitive for your own good Each quote sits on its own page, designed with a deep plum and gold celestial look, complete with moon phases and starry corner details, so it feels like flipping through a little spellbook rather than a list of one-liners. At 5 x 7 inches, it is sized to sit on a nightstand, a coffee table, or a desk that could really use a little more main-character energy. This is not a self-help book and it does not pretend to be one. It will not tell you to drink more water or journal your feelings (although, also, you should probably do both). It is simply 50 original quotes written for the woman who is funny, a little dramatic, deeply intuitive, and fully aware of all three. Witch, Please makes a great gift for: The friend who already owns too many crystals Anyone who has ever blamed Mercury retrograde out loud The person in your group chat who reads everyone's energy, whether they asked or not Yourself, obviously No spells required. Just a little sass, a little spirit, and fifty reasons to say it out loud.