Not everyone knows for sure what they like sexually and might want to do, which may be one of the biggest challenges for people who want to figure out what’s on the menu with a new partner, or one with whom you’d like to open up to new erotic possibilities. How do you even negotiate your boundaries and desires if you’re not sure what they are? How do you care for a partner who really can’t yet be clear enough about their hot spots and no-go zones? Almost all of us got a terrible sex education. There are exceptions, of course —Unitarians and Scandinavians, students of really brave sexed teachers, and even a few excellent moms and dads—but in fact, for most adults, it falls to us at age eighteen to make something of the pleasure-based possibilities of our present and future sex lives. Regardless of your orientation and gender, there’s a lot to learn, and endless possibilities to consider. (I’ve been teaching a class lately called “7 Billion Sexual Orientations”—that’s a lot of possibilities. . Besides the obvious problems with this scenario—young people who launch into their sex lives unclear on the mechanics of it all—there’s the added problem that you’ll likely hit rough waters in your relationships if you can’t talk about sex comfortably and engage in it pleasurably. So, we’re lucky to have Violet and the knowledge base she draws from to bring sexual possibilities aplenty into your   home via this and her other books. I have known her for many years, having worked with her back in the day at Good Vibrations, the sex shop she references in her opening pages. I was in charge of staff education at that time, helped by Charlie Glickman and other long-time SESAs (sex educator/sales associates), and we saw that Violet was born to do this. I also learned from the excellent program at San Francisco Sex Information, where I was training coordinator with my partner Robert Morgan Lawrence before we started the Center for Sex & Culture. Violet quickly became an asset at SFSI, too. We were both fortunate that the erotic explorers and sex educators who came before us had created such an amazing world of information, sex-related organizations, and play environments, and such a diverse sexual world that avid students like us could graduate to become teachers.