¶ This book is a) something I probably wouldn’t have written down if I hadn’t been sure how much TJ would love it if he were sufficiently baked; b) bed-time stories for others who are extremely stoned; c) something I wrote to celebrate several groups of people I’m not one of, but am terrified will offend them instead (and if you are offended by it, you’ve my sincere apology); and d) a re-write of the bible corrected to reflect the facts that god is a lesbian scouser, the messiah is a trans black lady, and back then everybody had faux-British accents. (This three-in-one volume contains corrections of the Books of Moses, corrections of Samuel/Kings, corrections of the canonical gospels, and an extra gospel, that of the thirteenth apostle.) ¶ Like all or nearly all my books, this contains so-called explicit content (and how): I always tick the box for warning people of that, but sometimes it doesn't take, so I'm also telling you here. I should probably also warn off any of you who can take offense at religious matters and whose religion is one of the Abrahamic ones. This is probably not the book for you. (Actually, anything I've writ is probably not for you. I sincerely hope that you find lots of books that are for you.) ¶ The cover art is called _Unicorn Leather_, and is by me, and is also in the public domain. ¶ As always, the price is the least amount Lulu will let me charge; I get no money from anything on here. ¶ The actual dates of first being printed are September 15, 2022 (part one), February 28, 2023 (part two), and May 18, 2026 (part one-and-one-half).