I called this book Getting Sober in Dating because that's what it felt like when I finally stopped. For years I chased a feeling instead of a person, and told myself it was love because it felt strong. It wasn't love. It was just intensity, and I had never learned the difference. This book is what I wish someone had told me earlier. It covers the early stage of getting to know someone, the questions worth asking before you call something love, and what happens after a relationship ends and you have to learn how to be alone again without falling apart. It's split into three parts. The first is about the talking stage, where most of us lose ourselves before anything even starts. The second is about dating with real thought behind it, not just excitement. The third is about coming back to yourself, which is really what the whole book was about the entire time. I wrote it in plain words, on purpose. No big theories, no expert language. Just what I learned the hard way, written down for whoever needs it next. This isn't only for women. Anyone can lose themselves trying to be loved. This book is for anyone who has.