You have been afraid for so long that you’ve stopped noticing it as fear. You just call it “how you are.” Careful. Watchful. The one who checks the exits, over-prepares for meetings, rehearses conversations that haven’t happened yet. You’ve prayed about it. You’ve read the verses about not being anxious. You know 2 Timothy 1:7 by heart — God has not given us a spirit of fear — and some days that verse feels true, and most days it feels like something you’re supposed to believe rather than something you actually do.