Mark Crutchfield has been crowned "One of the world's eight billion unique voices", and hailed by many attractive women as "Dumped". Mark is a minor character in his own autobiography, which he will never write. Philosophers, scientists and librarians struggle to explain how this is possible, so Mark's belligerence is proving to be a virtue in the face of repeated claims that he shouldn't exist. Distracted by earning a living in various public service roles, Mark finds little time to write. "Earthwork", his first novel, took him eighteen minutes to compose. His second and third, "Walk With Kings" and "The Last Best Gift", took even longer. This trend looks set to be exponential since composing "Keep the Blood Thin" filled his free time for ten years, making it his final work. Literary completists should buy all Mark's books now before he changes his mind.