Todd Mulligan was born in Limerick, Ireland. His family emigrated to Toronto, Canada, just before he turned two. You can see he’s pleased about this. Despite his dislike of the cold, Todd stayed warm as best he could. That’s the Canadian way. He muddled through, struggling with the haemorrhoids that come from sitting on huge balls of snow. Todd struggled his way through Catholic School with scuffed knuckles and a raw member. In grade eleven, his English teacher, Father Mulcahy, saw a glimmer in his prose, but not enough to encourage a life of artistic endeavour. “Learn a trade, my son,” he said, but Todd wasn’t listening. He never did. “By the way,” advises Todd thoughtfully. “When in Ireland, don’t kiss the Blarney Stone. The locals piss on it.”