It started with a sink full of dishes. So why did it feel like so much more? A sharp tone. An unanswered message. Another argument about something small. Sometimes, what happens on the surface touches something much deeper. It’s Not About the Dishes is a warm, illustrated guide to understanding your emotional triggers, recognising familiar patterns and finding a more compassionate way to respond. With relatable examples, gentle humour and practical reflection prompts, Gill Phillips explores why your body can react before you have found the words—and why understanding a reaction doesn’t always make it stop. Inside, you’ll explore: • Fight, flight, freeze and people-pleasing responses. • The overthinking loop and the shame that can follow an argument. • How familiar patterns play out in relationships. • Your window of tolerance and what affects it. • Simple grounding practices and ways to pause before responding. • Questions to help you understand yourself without turning self-awareness into self-criticism. This isn’t about becoming someone who never gets upset. It’s about noticing what happens, understanding what you need and giving yourself more choice in what comes next. For anyone who has ever thought, “Why did that bother me so much?”—this is a place to begin.