Melanie and her partner Henrietta are two small-time crooks who have chosen crime as their hobby rather than their living. From the sleepy village of Mallowmarsh, Mel plans to steal a valuable double row of pearls belonging to the late, wealthy Claribel Louise. These she intends either to sell on, or give as a present to her partner Henri whom she rightly believes would rather not take part in these dodgy, amateur escapades. But try as she may to pull off the perfect crime, Mel's efforts turn to dust giving rise to chapters of humorous misadventures.