Cancelled By Popular Demand

Lazlo Steigenberger, Robert De Niro and a zebra called Zenya all star in this memo to humanity. YOU’VE BEEN CANCELLED News just in. The sun doesn’t rise and you’ve all been living your entire lives backwards. Hand in your personality and get out. You’ve all been cancelled. It’s just not working out. Sorry human. It’s over. Yours cruelly, LAZLO STEIGENBERGER • You live in a universe of nothingness. Nothing between the top of your head and infinite endlessness. Put the racket down and run home. • The sun is 300,000 times the size of your planet and it’s on fire. • The planet is blistering through ether at 108,000 k’s an hour. How fast does your car go? Get out of your car and walk away. • You’re on the edge of a massive, massive universe. • The universe is an eternal emptiness sitting somewhere between other and every. There are reasons why you are wearing those trousers. Yet none of them add up.