'It's a bish-bosh, wish-wash, car crash mishmash!' From smelly Vikings and gung-ho Anglo-Saxons to Covidiots and Instagram influencers, this book and one-woman show by poet, spoken word artist, former 'A' level English lecturer and all-round linguistics nerd, Melanie Branton, explores the fascinating history of the English language through the media of performance poetry and dad jokes. Packed with weird facts, comic poems and terrible puns, this book will tell you why there's an 'h' in 'ghost' and an apostrophe in 'McDonald's' (even though there really shouldn't be), why Caxton was troubled by an enormous vowel movement, and why the Inkhorn Controversy was the 16th century's version of Brexit. Find out what made Bishop Lowth so very bossy, why Americans wear their pants on top of their shorts, and why my katsu curry is self-isolating in the Twitterverse. 'A thoroughly entertaining and illuminating show from a talented wordsmith.' - Tina Sederholm 'Melanie Branton is such an enthusiast for the English language! And her interest is infectious. She dives right in, finds treasure among the words that we swim in every day and makes us re-evaluate our language anew. This book is a gem, sparkling with insight and wisdom, encompassing and welcoming and written from the heart, for Melanie is in love with her topic and she takes a real delight in sharing this with her reader.' - Robert Garnham 'The Full English combines both entertainment and education to explore the quirky and fascinating history of our rich linguistic heritage with charisma, wit, and large dollops of expertise. Melanie's in-depth knowledge of the English language as a lecturer on the subject ideally complements her skills as one of the country's cleverest and most engaging performance poets, and I would highly recommend the show to anyone with an interest in our bizarre but beautiful language.' - Rob Casey Feedback from students at Exeter College: • 'Entertaining and intriguing – it kept my attention.' • 'It was really good. More please!' • 'It was class.' • 'Thoroughly enjoyable.'