Baby's First Horror - Sketchbook

This is not a real book. It’s actually a functional notebook/journal with a ridiculous fake book cover. Or, as we call it, a Phantom Book. Because why have a boring journal when that space could be used diabolically? Leave it in the nursery. Bring it to a baby shower. Gift it to new parents with absolutely no explanation. Baby’s First Horror: Stories to Read Before You Turn Off the Hallway Light is disguised as an essential collection for parents who find bunnies and bedtime moons insufficiently terrifying. Lifelong horror enthusiast Derek Graves introduces the youngest possible audience to atmospheric dread, tasteful dismemberment, lullaby-length possession arcs, age-ambiguous hauntings, and the important distinction between a monster under the bed and a structural shadow. Because resilience isn’t built through avoidance. It’s built through exposure. Preferably before preschool. Perfect for funny baby shower gifts, horror fan gifts, new mom gifts, new dad gifts, Halloween gifts, goth parent gifts, White Elephant gift exchanges, Secret Santa, stocking stuffers, and gifts for new parents who already have everything. It’s especially suited to horror-loving parents, spooky families, Halloween obsessives, new parents with dark senses of humor, and anyone who thinks Goodnight Moon could have benefited from considerably higher stakes. Unlike most gag gifts, this one is actually useful: once everyone has finished questioning your judgment, you’ve still got a real notebook for feeding schedules, baby notes, appointments, lists, sleep-deprived thoughts, or documenting exactly what that shadow in the hallway looked like. The cover is the joke. The pages are yours.