After enrolling their son in summer YMCA Day-Camp, Crowley's parents fled the country, later surfacing in Libya, where they were accused of suspicion of "stealing curry recipes," and sentenced to Death by Stoning. Crowley in the meantime had completed a record 73 whistle lanyards and learned what a compass was. After being removed to foster care in Mexico, Crowley began his writing career. He used tamale wraps for paper and chicken blood for ink, so egregious was his poverty or lack of imagination. He hopes everyone will feel sorry for him and doesn't understand why you keep giving him the finger.